clyde [2]

10 。runaway delinquents

He held her with a gingerness that felt so fragile, burying his nose into her shoulder and breathing in the strong scent of jasmine that enveloped her. The smell was soothing, hisuscles relaxing and eyes fluttering closed to feel the safety being held by her brought. They stayed like that for several minutes, only drawing back when Kook felt tears seeping into his hair.

"Mama please do not cry," he croaked, holding her hand and squeezing.

"I missed you so much baby," she sniffled, tracing every one of his sharp features with the pad of her thumb. "You're so grown up and I just... I can't help but think about how much I have missed." Kook shook his head softly, pulling away only to get up on his tip toes and kiss her temple - the same way Taehyung would comfort him when he was sad.

"I would have killed you." He repeated the same explanation he had given in the hospital, a bitter truth that was still so hard for Sohyun to acknowledge.

"Baby you wouldn't have, please, I know you. You are so sweet and kind, and I saw that in you every day. I just... I know you had that thing, the one that told you to do bad things. I loved you no matter what –"

"Stop saying that!" Snarled Kook suddenly, tearing away and stumbling until Taehyung caught him and steadied his balance. "That is not true! You would hate me if you knew what I have done! I would have murdered you!"

"Jungkook–"

"No! Shut the fuck up! Do not ever make me believe that. You are a liar and you know nothing about me!" The harsh words made Sohyun flinch, and before Taehyung could hold his boyfriend still, Kook had torn away and stormed off down the hall, the sound of the back door slamming shut the only sound that filled the silence.

„Can I ... talk to you?" Spoke Taehyung once Sohyun's breathing had settled into something still sharp but much less intense. Her eyes were alight with a turmoil of shame and frustration, unable to fully break through to her son and prove that he deserved her love.

„I'm sorry." Sohyun murmured, sinking to the floor and curling her knees to her chest. She looked utterly defeated, eyes drooping with the weight of her emotions. „He just ... I'm not used to this anymore."

„I know. He's been gone for over a decade, don't beat yourself up. Kook is really sensitive right now, and I think that it will take some time to get him used to other's compassion and authority. Where he lived no one ever dared to go against him, they were afraid of him. Here, he has you and his father, even I have fought against his need for control. When you say those things to him... he feels himself losing control of his emotions, and Kook doesn't do well with emotions." Even though it was obscured by the walls that built the home, Kook's cries rang distinctly through the halls. The sound of a sensitive boy trying to deal with the confusion of his new environment.

„What should I do to make it easier for him?" The cries were unsettling her and she couldn't think properly, torn apart by the frailty of her son's emotions. All she wanted was to hold him close and repeat every longing piece of love she had kept piled away. When he came back there was this hope that things would feel better, that the grief would ease its prison around her heart. None of that had happened. It felt like she was just losing her son all over again. It didn't feel right. This wasn't how things should be with her son.

„For now ... trust yourself. You know more about him than anyone, no matter how long you were apart."

。〜 ‥ 。。。‥ 〜。