My I ➵ Seventeen - junhui

4.2

Jihoon slammed down his laptop, resting his face on the table in frustration. "Damnit...!"

I handed him a glass of water, without saying a word. We both knew what was wrong.

The filming yesterday was anything but successful. As skilled as the boys were, the tension drowned out the charisma of the choreograph. The whole dance, originally full of energy, became dull and lifeless.

The manager walked off the set without saying anything. We had used up all our budget, so we can't afford the film it another day. Comeback day was drawing near. We have no choice but to release the disastrous video, and hope the fans wouldn't notice anything wrong.

Ha, as if.

Jeonghan and Joshua weren't talking to Seungcheol. Dino' s spending all his time around Sunhee now, barely interacting with anyone else. He blatantly pretended I didn't exist.

My reputation had taken a hit as well. They didn't say it out loud, but I could tell Soonyoung and a few others don't trust me. The way they suspiciously watch me out of the corner of their eyes.

What the fuck went wrong? We were all so happy. None of us deserve this. I buried my face in my hands.

"Hey, Ling." I felt a light pat on my shoulder. "I'm tired. Let's go back to the dorm." Jihoon said, his voice lifeless. "I can't make it better. None of the staff can either. Let's just leave it." He paused, before muttering, "It can't get any worse, can it?"

Just then, Soonyoung burst in the room, opened his mouth to say something, and closed it as soon as he saw me.

I should leave. I'm probably not wanted here. I nodded to Jihoon, hoping he got the message, and stood up to leave.

It felt as if a heavy boulder was placed upon my chest. So this is what it feels like when someone doesn't trust you.

I covered my face with my hoodie, walking out the Pledis building. I looked down the dark street. Yeah. Let's take the long way. No one is waiting for me back in the dorm, anyway.

Mingyu and Wonwoo got in a major fight yesterday. Wonwoo was defending me, trying to convince everyone that I wasn't the one who did it, when Mingyu confronted him, saying how all the leads point to me, and there were no denying anything. They aren't on talking terms right now.

Chan undoubtedly blames me for everything, and honestly, I won't hold it against him. In a way, he's right, isn't he? If I never came, nothing would turn out like this.

I trudged down the dark alleyway. A streetlight flickered, and died out. I shivered, hugging myself. It was chilly, at night.

Seungkwan, Seokmin and Vernon are in plain denial. They still act as if everything is normal and fine, but I can tell how they are extra wary around me. And just to think that a few days ago, I was getting along with then just fine.

I sat down on the pavement. There're no one here, anyway. Maybe I should just camp out and not go back. That's what most of them wants, anyway.

I haven't talked to Minghao since. He buried himself in work, dancing in the training rooms for hours just to avoid interaction with anyone. Jun joined him. They trained late in to the night, going straight to their room after coming back. I rarely saw Jun, either.

So even my boyfriend is avoiding me. My heart clenched, making it hard to breathe. I looked up at the night sky. It's two in the morning now. No stars illuminated the darkness. The city lights had also turned off. I was hidden in complete darkness, and somehow, it made me feel safer. No one can hate me, distrust me, or avoid me when they can't see me.