II. You Are My Humanity (Damon Salvatore FF)

Chapter 16: Why

Patricia's P.O.V.

The word caught my ears was 'killing'. There are many ways, that always pop out in my mind, to kill Elena but it doesn't stop me from being her sister. This is so frustrating! After I do the spell, I need to kill her? That is crazy. I just wanted to take the spell back that Bonnie made. This shouldn't be like this! Oh wait.... Speaking of spells...... Shit bricks. I forgot to ask her the freaking spell! I'm so stupid--

"Hey, Pat. You alright there?"

I almost screamed when I heard Kevin's voice behind me. I turned around and saw him with his brows together. I put my hands down and smiled awkwardly. Gosh.

"Why are you knocking on your head earlier, Patricia? You seemed..." I cut him off.

"Crazy. Stupid. Weird. And oh, I looked like I'm knocking on a door." I said while rolling my eyes. Now Kevin is around, I can't go back to that witch's house. Damn.

"Okay okay. Stop murdering yourself. Let's go home now. It's getting dark." He said chuckling. He started to walk and I take that as a cue to walk with him.

"Yeah." I said while looking up. So many stars above. I wonder what is Damon doing right now? Is he okay? I wish I can see him now.

"Anyway, what are you doing outside? It's dangerous you know." He said as his forehead creased. I can sense that he's worried. He's right, it's totally dangerous here.

"Uhm... I just wanted to... Hmm... See the stars every night. Stars are bright and beautiful as always. I want to catch a shooting star and wish something. Something.... Worth it. Like fighting for someone you think is worth fighting for. You wish that you could see that person but because you needed to fight, you can't. And the part that hurts the most is, the one you hold dear has someone there for him instead of you." I said relating my point of view to him. I glanced at him and saw him staring at me. I laughed dryly. "Sucks right? Well, that's what I feel. I feel empty but I'm trying to be full to fight." I said while continuing to walk to the house. I felt Kevin followed me silently.

We got to the house and I quickly went to my room. I laid on my bed and closed my eyes. Too much problems. Number 1, forgot to ask the spell. Number 2, being stupid. Number 3-10, missing Damon. Oh, 1 and 2 should be together because I was being stupid when I forgot to ask her. Missing Damon? Not my fault, I think? It's his. I shook my head several times and sighed deeply. When I was about to fall asleep, someone knocked on my door. I stood up and opened it.

"Oh, Kevin. Do you need anything?" I asked him.

"Dinner is served. Don't tell me you won't eat." He said seriously. I chuckled.

"Who said that I won't eat? I'm freaking hungry!" I said and ran downstairs. I can hear Kevin's laugh while I get downstairs. I sat down on the dining chair and smelled the newly baked mac. I missed this. This can erase the things in my mind. While smelling the thing, I heard Kevin walked downstairs.

"You look like a dog. Smelling things, huh." He said while laughing. I just stuck my tongue out at him while he sat on the chair in front of me. We began to dig in while talking, laughing and somehow, I felt I'm not alone in this journey. I have Kevin here as a friend when I don't have one.

Damon's P.O.V.

Stefan called me earlier and said that he will meet me at the Grill. He said that I should be alone. I know it's not actually weird for me but Stefan talks to me always with Patricia around. Anyway, Caroline is at the boarding house with Pat, so she won't get lonely. When I got to the Grill, I saw Stefan sitting on the bar stool. I sat next to him.

"What's up, bro?" I asked and ordered a glass of bourbon. He looked at me and breathed out.

"I need to talk to you." He said seriously while staring to my eyes.

"Why, can't we talk in the house?" I said while chuckling. I thought he'll talk back sarcastically but he just stared at me. So he's really serious. "What is it that we need to talk about?" I said.

"About Elena." He said that made my eyebrows knit.

"What about that bitch? Did you already find her?" I asked him feeling the anger when I heard her name.

"I'm not sure, brother but I have doubts on Patricia." He said and that made my head turn to him.

"Doubts? On Patricia? Are you crazy? Are you saying that Patricia knows something that we don't?" I said making the irritation on my voice appear.

"Look, I'm not saying like that. I was saying that, these past few days, Patricia's been acting strange. She does things that she doesn't use to do before. I don't--" I cut him off.

"Stop! She said she just wanted to do new things. She just wanted to try new things. You shouldn't doubt her!" I said and stood up. I turned my back at him and was about to walk away when he spoke.

"You are dumb, Damon. You are blind. You don't even know who is the person you really love. They have the same faces but you can't even point out who is her and who is not. What if Pat has a mask? Would you even know where or who is she in the big crowd?" He said that made my mind go puzzled. I turned to look at him but he's gone. He is saying non-sense but why did I feel like I wanted to find Patricia?

I shook my head and went to the boarding house. I saw Caroline and Patricia talking but when they saw me they stopped.

"Hey, Damon. Good, you're here! I need to go now! Tyler's waiting for me at our house so, toodles!" Caroline said and flashed out of the house. I looked at Patricia and she smiled at me. She walked towards me and kissed me. I felt like not responding to her kiss. She pulled away with confuse expression on her face.

"Is there anything wrong? Are you okay?" She asked worriedly. Her brown eyes staring into my blue eyes. I shook my head and kissed her.

It was passionate but why do I feel empty and lifeless? This doesn't make me glad. Why? There are many questions popped in my mind. It's full of WHY? Why do I feel that I miss Patricia even if she's here? It's like she's far but she's just in front of me. Why the heck do I feel that I hate this girl with me instead of love?

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Hi guys! I'm so sorry for the lame and late update! I just enrolled yesterday and I was in the cream section! I was so happy that I forgot to write a new chapter. I'm so sorry for making you wait.

Someone is coming! What will happen next? Please be patient.

~PJS