A Court of Wind and Shadows

Chapter 12

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~

The house was utterly empty.

And my mind was too full of my own thoughts.

Silence was suffocating the air, and I could not help but wish that I could go somewhere.

But both Rhys and Kristena told me I really shouldn't leave the Night Court's territory at all.

In fact I was suggested to not even leave Velaris.

Rhys had told me not to, and I had agreed, saying that it was probably the best.

And for a week, I had stayed at the house, fooling around with Cas, and planning for everything with Mor and Elain.

Until four days ago, when they all had to leave to attend to their own duties.

I was utterly alone for the past few days, and it was starting to have its toll on me.

Last night I spoke with Rhys, begging him to let me go out for only a few days.

At first he said no, and I remembered the conversation we had in the cabin so long ago.

He didn't know what he would do if something happened to me- and our child.

Wrath and darkness, that would definitely appear. 

But still, even though I knew he would be beyond himself with worry about my well being- but I was only a few months pregnant, not about to blow at any minute.

There was barely any chance that I would be able to visit my sisters in the mortal lands, who have still yet to visit me as they were faced with even harsher situations. 

Yet there was no bitter blame or accusations, just the pure simple thought.

And where Cassian and Azriel were concerned it was also a no, as they were at the Illyrian war camp, and the Mother knows what those insufferable males might say or do.

But staying with Mor and Rhys was a chance that was never going to happen, no chance in hell, as they were at the Night Court, and with Kier and his goons in the Hewn City around the High Lady there was already tension. And then with adding that she was pregnant and thus slightly more vulnerable, I was stuck with my own thoughts.

Until he heard the yearning in my voice, until he realized that I might very well begin to get swallowed up again. He relented, letting me go through my own course.

I knew he wished that he could be here with me, caring for me, cheering me up. All of my family did.

But it was just after the war, not even two years had passed, and there was barely any free time for anyone but myself.

Gazing at the pedestals and buildings all around Velaris, I knew where to go.

It had been a long time, and I should have gone months ago.

Though it was never too late.

~

The forest was quiet, the same as usual, with the small chirps of birds only ringing out every few minutes.