A Court of Wind and Shadows

Chapter 2

Finally a calm sleep. I haven't had one of those in a long time.

Days, maybe weeks even. As I tumbled into the soothing space, I sensed Cassian winnow out of the sitting room. Alone now, I finally let myself fall into the relaxing darkness. My heart stopped racing and my breath came out evenly.

I floated in the peaceful space, letting myself and all my worries fade away. I sighed, relishing the blissful calm all around me. But I found myself seeing the wretched dim light shining once more, and saw the darkness start to recede.

No. Not again. I didn't want to go back to the death, I didn't want to see all the pain and torture. I would do anything, anything, to not go back. But binds appeared, making me go on. I was then whisked away toward the terrors of the past I had suffered through, and to the ones I terrors I dreaded the most.

I pushed and pulled against the binds making me live these moments. I yearned for the calm darkness, yearned for the soothing black that was my only reprieve from my most horrible of memories and fears. The pull was too strong, it drove me toward them and away from any sort of peace I had. So I shut myself out of our bond, not wanting Rhysand to face the terrors I do every night. And with the last bit of my will and strength gone, I let myself be whisked away.

I screamed, and cowered, and sobbed as I saw all of the ones that I loved dead.

Nesta, Elain, and my father laid on the ground, all dead from various tortures. I saw Cassian and Azriel laying on the ground with their wings shredded and the throats ripped out. I saw Mor, beautiful, lovely Mor, on the ground with her chest cut. Rhysand laid near her, still, as if he was just sleeping. But I knew that he wasn't. He laid on the ground pale, so pale. My mate, my beautiful mate, dead. And my family, the one I fought so hard to stay with, also lay on the ground still in an unrelenting state of death.

My sobs wracked through my body as I crumbled onto the ground.

Right next to another body. Our son's violet eyes were glassy, unseeing. And only then, once I saw his body did I release a blood curdling scream. As scream full of the most horrible kinds of sorrow. A scream of pain and anguish, one of grief and mourning.

Arms came up around me and I fought against them, wanting to stay with them, as if they were my only tether to my sanity.

My body and mind stayed in the land full of death as the arms kept trying to circle me. Someone was chanting my name. "Feyre", "Feyre!"

I pushed away from them, or at least tried to. I then let them pull me out, let them as I was too tired, as I had no more energy.

I was hauled out of the dream and back into the familiar bedroom of the town house. Only then did I recognize the arms that held me, Rhys's arms.

I relaxed a bit, but my heart continued racing and nausea filled my stomach. "Breathe." His voice commanded, and I did. Again and again until I my heart stopped beating fast enough to make me sick.

Only once the nausea and fear left did I look into the mate's eyes.

And what I saw in them made my breath catch again.

Panic, terror, and pain flooded his eyes, turning them dark as they searched my face. Rhys's mouth was set in a grim line, and then he pulled me into a bone crushing hug as I wept in his arms. Tears ran down my face as I saw images of bodies, including his, laying on the ground dead.

And only till my eyes went dry did he lift my face up to his and kiss me deeply. He pulled away, his thumb brushing my chin.

"Feyre" he said, sighing as he looked me over and then turned away.

He faced the windows and looked out onto the peaceful nightime of Velaris. "How long?" he asked, sterness coloring his tone as he continued staring at the city.

"Wha-what do you mean?" I inquired in response, still shaking a bit. "You know what I mean." Rhysand said as he turned back toward me, pain still flickering in his eyes.

My heart utterly sank as I realized how much pain I've caused him.

"Not that long" I told his simply, as if I was talking about the weather."

"Feyre" he growled at me, shadows lingering on his face.

"Fine! I've been having nightmares for a couple of weeks now, ok."

"A couple of weeks?! Why the fuck didn't you tell me-?"

"Because, because-"

"Because what Feyre?" He exploded, his rage obvious. "Because you thought that you shouldn't tell the others, tell me! Because you thought that it didn't matter!" Because-"

"I didn't tell you because I didn't want my nightmares to be another burden on you, on all of you!" My heart was thundering in my chest as I said the words. I slowly leaned back towards the pillows and pulled the blankets up to my shoulders, holding on to them as if they were the only things that kept me from being pulled back into my nightmares.

Rhysand's eyes were now again filled with shadows as he pulled me into his arms gently. "Feyre" he murmured against my hair. "You know that your nightmares could never be, - be a burden on us."

"I know" I whispered back. "But I still didn't want you guys always worrying about me, I didn't want that."

He hugged me tightly, his hand gently stroking my hair. "From now on, please tell me, or any of us if something is wrong. Don't push us away Feyre. Because you will never be a burden on me, or on any of us."

I took in a deep breath, trying to find a way to say no. But I knew that saying no or lying would only make everything so much worse.

"Ok. I will tell you if anything is wrong. And I'm sorry if I caused you any pain." I told him. And I meant it. I loved him so much, I loved all of them so much. And so I would tell them, because I couldn't handle the thought of them constantly worrying if I was in trouble or not.

I know you will. And I don't care about that, I'm sorry that I caused you to feel like that, he whispered in my mind.

Stay here, please while we sleep.

Always.

And then we both laid back onto the covers. Rhysand's held me tight as we slept and I fell into a soothing sleep in his arms.

Hi guys, thank you for reading this chapter. I'm pretty sure that I'm going to focus on life after Hybern in the next few chapters. And along the way a surprise will come, probably in a couple of chapters. Thank you guys for reading and please vote and leave a comment.