Undercover

Chapter 21

I went straight to bed as I arrived into my hotel room. I was exhausted and my brain was so messed up. I fell asleep immediately but I woke up at around 4 a.m. and I couldn't fall back asleep. I took my phone and I randomly clicked on my WhatsApp chat with Ira and I saw that she was online 2 minutes ago. Hm, hopefully she is still awake. I texted her "Are you awake?" and she instantly replied with a smirking emoji. I didn't expect that emoji as a reply but at least I have someone to talk to. I asked her:"What's with that emoji?", and she said:"Tell me what you did with Dara" with another smirking emoji. Why does she think that I did anything with Dara? She knew that we didn't talk anymore. How does she know that what I was going to say, involved Dara? I asked:"Why do you think that I did anything with Dara?" with a rolling-eyes emoji. Ira replied with:"Because you wouldn't text me at 4a.m. if it wasn't about Dara". Well, she knows me well. Kinda. So since she figured that it was about Dara, I told her what Dara told me tonight and how I reacted and I asked Ira what I should do about this. She said:"Do whatever you want." and she immediately became inactive on WhatsApp. It sounds like she got mad at me. And I can understand that. Maybe I shouldn't involve her in my childish drama with Dara. I said:"Look, I know that my friendship with Dara was on and off these days and that we fought a lot but I don't think she would have lied this time. She freaking admitted that she was in love with me too. And I don't wanna miss this chance. Unless, I have already lost it with my childish behaviour". Ira was still not active on WhatsApp but meanwhile, I got a text from Dara, saying:"Hey, I see that you are awake too. I'm sorry if I am disturbing you but I want to know something:do you hate me? It was clear that I made myself look like a fool today in front of you. But I just wanted to be honest". Damn, why does she think that I hate her? How could I ever hate her?! I LOVE HER. Yes, I still do... I replied with:"No, of course I don't. I'm sorry for how I reacted today. I didn't know what else to do. It's...it's complicated...". Immediately after that, I got another reply from Ira:"I know. Just do whatever you want. I don't want to be the cause behind your decision." Well, I understand her point. However, I was excited about the fact that Dara texted me so much  that I said to Ira:"Omg, she texted me now" with an emoji with heart eyes. Meanwhile, Dara replied with:"Can we talk face to face now?". I said:"Sure. Come here". Then, I got a reply from Ira saying:"Good for you". I guess she was actually tired of hearing stuff about Dara but I didn't realize it at that moment as I was freaking happy that Dara was coming, so I said:"And she will come here" with 3 emojis with heart-eyes. Ira replied immediately with:"Have great sex with her." and a winking emoji amd then she send another message saying:"Bye". Now I realized that I actually pissed her off with talking only about Dara. However, why does she think that every time when I see Dara means that we will have sex? I haven't even done it with Dara for a long time. And I don't think that it will happen again anytime soon. So, I replied to Ira with one rolling-eyes emoji and I noticed that she turned off her data/wi-fi.
I threw my phone on my bed and I sighed annoyed. Soon after that, someone knocked at my door. It must be Dara, who else would knock at my door at 4a.m.? I headed towards the door fast and I opened it. Yes, it was Dara. She smiled slightly at me, without saying hello and she immediately looked downwards. I guess  that she didn't want to make eye contact with me. I said quietly:"Come in" and she entered my room, staying quiet and avoiding to look at me. I immediately hugged her tightly and she hugged me back. Naw...her hugs are the best. I would never let go. I started to rub her back slowly and she sighed quietly. I kissed her forehead gently, then her lips, and I whispered:"I... actually...I feel the same way...". I intended to kiss her deeper but she stopped me, looking straight into my eyes and she asked with a surprised voice:"What?!". I said, looking straight into her eyes:"Regarding what you said in the elevator". She asked suspiciously:'You say this just to make me feel better, don't you?". Ugh, I finally had the courage to tell her and she think this?! I said seriously, keeping eye contact with her:"No. I mean it...". She smiled brightly at me, then she kissed me softly. I kissed her back in the same manner for a coupled of seconds, then I started french kissing her slowly. Mh, I  freaking missed this. We kept making out for a whilebut  we had to stop as we were smiling too much. She looked down than again into my eyes and said, with a slightly afraid voice:"Uhm, Kris...I...I think I should tell you something...". Hm, her suddne change of attitude was kinda worrying me. I asked quietly:"What?" and she said:"Well, it's something that I found out 2 days ago but I...I didn't know how to tell you. I still don't know how to tell you...I...I am afraid. I mean, I don't know what to do about it...I didn't expect this to happen. I am afraid that you will get angry...but I think that you should really know this...". Okay, her speech was worrying me even worse, but I asked, trying to stay calm:"What is it?". She bit her botton lip, looking straight into my eyes and then she said with a shaking voice:"I'm pregnant...". I asked loudly, feeling shocked:"WHAT?!". I mean...WHAT?! Is this freaking true?! She said, starting to shake:"yes...I'm...I'm pregnant...I lied about being on birth control...I'm...I'm sorry" and she left my room quickly. WHAT THE HELL?! Is this for real?! I got her pregnant?! WHAT?! Why did she lie to me about birth control? What am I freaking supposed to do about this now?! How am I supposed to tell mom about it?! She will freaking kill me!! Why did thischappen to me?! Fuck, I hate myself now. I freaking do! Why the hell did I even have sex with her? Why?! I freaking can't stand it!! After she left, I immediately went to bed and I freaking burst into tears. I can't take this!