P.S - I'm Not Your Barbie

The Time (ch 18)

When James and I were smaller, we always used to imagine ourselves as gang members, like Al Capone, smoking our imaginary cigars.

"Jess, Jess, come see what I found!" James' excited voice called out to me.

My small feet walked towards my twin brother with a beat, excited to see his discovery. My dress flies up a little because of the wind and I stop for a second, trying to flatten it all out. When I am finally comfortable with it, I rush towards my brother's side and look at the object in his hands.

A gun.

"We shouldn't play with that James, what if mommy and daddy find out?" I tell him, biting the ends of my hair and looking over my shoulders in fear of getting caught.

When nobody comes our way, I feel my shoulders release a little bit of tension. It's not like James will shoot anybody, the gun is probably empty.

As my older eyes watch the old gun James and I had found all those years ago, the memories come back to me like a forgotten movie.

I look back at my brother with hurt in my eyes, but I quickly cover it up before he notices. I promised myself I could never go back to the person I was, she was weak and useless.

"Hello sister."James replies as if it were a normal conversation going on, not a reunion between two siblings.

I don't know what to do with this, this... Thing. Do I hug him? Do I slap him? Do I tell him how much I missed him?

All these thoughts run through my head at such I fast pace, I feel myself become a little nauseated. My hand reaches out to grab something so I don't fall to the ground and I lean some of my weight on the strong object, not even looking to see if it was anything living.

As I bend my head down and massage my temples, trying to regain my balance, I notice a pair of black shoes only a few inches away from me, right where the object I was leaning on was standing. My eyes move cautiously up the figure of the object and they meet Jesse's worried, but curious eyes.

I quickly avoid his electrifying blue orbs and look at where my hand was resting; Jesse's shoulder. I look at his shoulder angry that I needed his help, but the anger soon disappears and is replaced by shock. His hand was over mine, rubbing his thumb across the smooth surface of my hand. What is he doing?

The second after I question myself about his actions, the warmth of his hand disappears. My hand suddenly feels cold as I lift it and bring it back to my side.

I look at his face, curious to see what changed.

He doesn't even glance my way; his two eyes looking forward at the three people in front of us; the ones who are supposed to have everybody's attention right now; my brother and his.... Gang?

After a minute or so, something in my brain clicks and I completely turn to my brother, the whole of my attention focused on him. All thoughts of Jesse are erased from my brain as I look at the gun in my brother's left hand. I still can't believe he kept it all these years.

James seemed to have noticed my attention on the gun because he also looks down at it.

"Do you remember this?" He asks, a small smile forming on his face.

"Yeah." I answer my voice hoarse.

What am I doing? This is not the time to get emotional, I should be mad. Mad at him for leaving. Mad at him for not telling me where he was going. But most of all, mad at him for not taking me with him.

I look at my brother and watch as his eyebrows furrow and his eyes turn towards me, locking with my own. I see a glimpse of pain in his eyes as he drinks up my appearance. I squirm at the attention; my eyes never stray from James.