Love Side Effect (girlxgirl)

Epilogue

     Ever since that day, I was never my old self again. The person I used to be was completely replace by the other me. The other side of me I had. That I never though it's existence was there. I felt nothing, nothing but a pure emptiness on my mind and body. My motivation to keep on moving forward with life dropped to zero. Oh how I cried those days, sleepless days, you name it.

    I slowly started pushing everyone way. Okami, Ikuto, Arisu, Kayo, and everyone else. They tried their best to help me, but that just got my blood boiling. My face turn red with fury. I would just end up telling them off and then disappear for a few days, even weeks. Then all of them slowly started to give up on me, I thought. It wasn't like that though. They were just simply wanting for me to realize I need help. I needed them by my side in these times. Yet, my stubborn self didn't realize it. Arisu left to an other school the next year. Kayo was hanging out more with this girl named Masa. Okami stood by my side more.

     I usually just go to my house, curl up on my bed and cry for hours. Passing hours pouring my eyes out. I started grabbing my old buddy, my old friend. Pressing it sliver sharpness into my skin. Slashing down on it, until I could start feel an emotion again or anything at all. I wanted to feel pain more than ever. That feeling usually calms me down before, but now. It doesn't.

     One of my old friends came to my school. To help me out as well through this times. I pushed her away as well, but she was like Okami. She won't give up. Now, I'm a senior and there's only a few days of class left.

    May I add I tried dating someone again? The first one, I only lasted a month with her. It didn't feel right. It felt like I was still cheating on her. Even though she long gone by now. I let her down easily, but she was a moody one. So, she decided to "never" talk to me again. After a few weeks, she tried to get me back. I denied her gently again. All that went on until she found someone else. See how quickly I can be replaced? I wonder if my friends would do the same.

     Like Kayo did, and Arisu talks to me once in a while. But, I barley even see her anymore. Ikuto sees her though, it would be mess up not wanting to see your own boyfriend.

    Anyways, the second one. Not really a second one you see. She was a girl at my school who seemed to like me. I decided why the hell not? She started talking to me through text. Things were going pretty good. So, I decided to you know give it a try. Get to know each other first though. We started talking at school, but as you may know I'm a hella shy of a person and horrible at starting conversations.

     Let's wrap this up shall we. She decided she couldn't continue, because she didn't like long distance relationship. Cool, I understood perfectly. It was a shame though she seemed like a nice person. I tried being just friends with her. Until, I found out she was dating one of my classmates! Oh wow! Not gonna lie, that stung a bit. Probably a bit more than getting stung by a fucking bee may I add. Well, of course I tried to hide those feelings. I always do that. Always. She said she didn't want to hurt me before all the other bullshit. But one way or an other, she ended up hurting me. Now, blame me for having trust issues.

     Anyways, now that you have caught up a bit with the hell hole I have been through. Here I am, in the same place she did the incident. I examine all the dry up crimson liquid spread on the wall and floor. I feel my eyes starting to water. Four years. Memories of all those years start flashing by. The bad ones are like receiving a slap across the face. The good ones, oh the good old memories. I feel my waterfall finally break through.

     My vision starts becoming blurry, the world starting to spin around me. The only focus I have on now is the cold sharp metal in the tips of my fingers. I close my eyes taking a sharp hopeless sigh. As the empty feeling starts reaching up my chest. My throat drying up like I haven't had a drink of water for weeks.

    I press the cold metal against my skin sending a shiver down my spine. I hear the old cement door creak open. I look down as I know who it is. The only person who knows where she exactly did it.

        "Ashley, leave. Now." I simply said coldly and harsh.

     I feel her take a few more steps towards me. Ever so slowly and gentle. I grinding my teeth together and press it against more my skin causing for a small amount of crimson liquid pour out of my skin.

      "Leave now or I'll do it worse!"

   I look back with my eyes all puffy and red. Seeing the red headed girl stare at me with those sliver-ish eyes of hers. Her eyes almost popping out of her skull. I see her hand tremble and her lips quiver.

          "Misheru, please, let's talk things out and not make any harsh de-"

    I scoff coldly releasing a fake chuckle while covering my eyes with one of my hands. Then I just stare at her emotionless while giving her a death glare. "No. I'm done talking." I give her a weak smile. "I'm sorry, tell the others I love them as well."

     Before she could do anything, I do a big slash vertically across my arm in one single motion. All you could hear was me releasing a bloody horrible scream that echoed through the hallway. As the blood quickly poured out of my arm not wasting any time. I start to feel numb and faintly. I hear someone screaming my name, not being able to recognize their voice anymore. I see more than one figure now, hovering around me. For a moment I though I saw Daniera stretching out a hand towards me. Her golden eyes filled with happiness and sadness. I smile weakly before everything just turns into nothing, but pitch black.

          The good old memories.

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A/N: I still not sure so don't get your hopes up. But, I might do a second part for the book. If not, then this is truly the ending of the book ( ^ω^ )

    Anyways, if you like this chapter/book please leave a vote and/or a comment suggesting something or anything. ~M.A.G signing off ♤