Hymn to the Missing (Supernatural Fanfiction)

Scene 1

"Wait. We what?" mouth open, arms wide, Sam stood there begging her to repeat what she had just said, but he was wishing beyond all reason, that it would be different, the second time around.

Dean, on the other hand, just stood there, frozen - showing no emotion - as the world around him was surely crumbling.

A silence fell over the war room, deep within the bunker. No one moved. Sam staring at his mother, Dean staring into space, trapped in a trance, until...

"Why her?" he blurted.

"Dean..." Mary sobbed; her eyes begging him for the forgiveness that she knew was never coming - not this time.

"Why her?" Dean's voice was louder and stronger this time. The emotion rising in his deep and rumbling voice.

Mary's shoulders fell, her head hung low and as she slumped forward, her voice was barely audible, "Because your father wanted a boy."

In that moment, time would have stood still but for the slowly moving hand of the clock by the stairs, the rhythmic ticking the only sound in that vast space.

Mary, arms raised, moved towards Dean, reaching for him, wanting to comfort him, to hold him. The look on his face, as he stepped away from her, told her to stop, his words made it final.

"Get out!" Deep and reserved, a rumble not a whisper, Dean felt so hopeless, powerless, in that moment.

"Dean..." Mary's voice, pleading, shocked and shrill. She was still moving toward him, arms reaching out; not wanting to believe he could be this angry with her, that he would want her to leave.

"Get out!" Dean was shouting this time, but he would not meet the eyes of the woman who had betrayed him and his family for the last time. He turned away from her, before she reached him, and walked into the library. Dean felt he had to get away from her, before doing something he would regret later.

Tears silently spilling from her eyes, Mary spun on her feet, towards Sam, seeking refuge and hoping for forgiveness in his eyes. A forgiveness she would most likely never get from Dean.

Sam's face was a tangled mess of emotions, as he tried to latch onto just one thought, one phrase.

"They were twins?"

It was a statement and it was a question. The only thing that made any sense to Sam.

"Sam. You have to understand..." Mary begged.

"Understand what... What exactly do you want me to understand? That you betrayed your family! Our family. Again. Well, do not worry! I get that." The raw emotion Sam felt exploded into each statement, as he struggled not to yell.

"Sam. Please..." she begged again.

"Please what? Please do not hate me. Please forgive me. Well, I am sorry, but I think you may have tapped out here. This... is... Beyond that... You made a deal like that! A deal with the Demon... To save yourself..." Sam was shaking his head from side to side in disbelief; how could his mother do that? To them.

"Sam..." Mary stepped towards him, pleading with her eyes, voice and body, "Sam..." she cried out again.

"No. Mo..." He struggled with the word – mom - and instead settled on a word that would have cut to her soul "Mary! Dean was right. You need to leave."

Mary did not move.

"Now!" and with that one quiet, but heavily, emphasised word, Sam turned his back on her.

Mary stood silently, with tears streaming down her face, she wanted to stay, to fight for her boy's forgiveness, but she knew in her heart that they could not give it to her, not now... Possibly never. She turned and walked towards the stairs, up and out of the bunker.

Slowly, step by step Mary retreated. She seemed to be waiting, hoping for Sam to turn around and call her back.

Eventually, the noise of the door closing behind her reached Sam and he finally breathed out - raw emotion casting a shadow on his face.

Fade out