[COMPLETE]
"So imma need those digits."
"Isn't that a bit too fast? You don't even know my name or-"
"Of your credit card, you idiot."
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A boy calls in to a hotline for help on how to win his dream girl. There he...
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❝Hey.❞
❝Hey.❞
❝So..why exactly did I have to call you here?❞
❝Because what I'm about to say is a personal deal, nothing to do with the hotline. Don't need to get in trouble.❞
❝For what exactly? Not gonna lie, I'm extremely scared and shaky right now.❞
❝Look...what I'm about to say stays between us. You CANNOT tell the hotline on me or I will come back to haunt you...And possibly drain your whole bank account for fun. I will buy Victoria's Secret with your money if you try to get me in trouble for anything we say here.❞
❝Really? Was it necessary to go into all that detail?❞
❝What? Every girl likes having cute panti-❞
❝BLAH BLAH BLAH CAN WE NOT?! CAN WE NOT!❞
❝God forbid I say I wear underwear.❞
❝If I don't tell on you, promise you won't tell me about your panties anymore.❞
❝Sounds like a fair deal, hehe❞
❝Thank God.❞
❝Look, what I'm about to say stays between us. And I mean this in the non-creepiest way ever. Buuuut, I might be able to help you with your kissing problem.❞
❝...❞
❝...❞
❝...how?❞
❝I can teach you. Myself.❞
❝Did you ju-❞
❝Well, I mean for the right price of course. These lips are golden, you know.❞
❝Wait, wait, wait. Are you saying that you want me to pay you to...kiss me?❞
❝No no no. You got it all wrong, dear boy. This is a service, not a giveaway. You will pay me to teach you the proper kissing technique...which, should I mention, will most likely win over your Redheaded Princess. I am a girl, I know what they think when it comes to this stuff.❞
❝Well you have been pretty accurate with everything else...but still.❞
❝But still what?❞
❝We haven't even met each other a-and....and you're actually willing to k-kiss me? Honestly, this whole scenario is just really really weird, 103. Really w-weird.❞
❝Hey, it was just a helpful thought. You're not obligated to say yes.❞
❝A-And if I did agree and said y-yes...?❞
❝Then that'll be the best fifty dollars you've ever spent in your life!❞
❝...❞
❝...❞
❝This is weird.❞
❝Right?❞
❝...❞
❝But you need pract-❞
❝Fine, alright. Just take my whole freaking bank account while you're at it!❞
