[COMPLETE]
"So imma need those digits."
"Isn't that a bit too fast? You don't even know my name or-"
"Of your credit card, you idiot."
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A boy calls in to a hotline for help on how to win his dream girl. There he...
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❝I hate to break it to you, but do you know what day today is?❞
❝Another boring school day?❞
❝It's the two week timeout. Which means your funds have expired!❞
❝Crap...I wasn't even keeping track.❞
❝Lucky for you, I accept all kind of different payments. Especially credit cards, hehe.❞
❝Do you have my card on file?❞
❝Yup.❞
❝How much?❞
❝Thirty more bucks for two more weeks. Does that sound good?❞
❝Not really...but since I really need it, I guess I have no choice but to it suck it up.❞
❝Hehe, annnnnd...thanks for your transaction! You have been approved!❞
❝So how exactly do I win her over now that I have competition? Where am I even supposed to start?❞
❝Take her on a date, duh.❞
❝Where? Where do girls even like going on dates?❞
❝You mentioned something about a coffee the other day. Is there a shop in town?❞
❝Yeah, down the street from school.❞
❝Okay, well ask her if she wants to 'study'. You know, since you both are nerds and stuff, that only makes sense. And if she says yes-which she willlll-be cute, hold the door open for her, pull out her chair and buy her whatever her hungry stomach desires. Food and coffee will always win a girl's heart over.❞
❝Okay.❞
❝When you're done with 'study session' number one, move to number two. Make sure you tell her she looks nice and that you really like spending time with her. Make casual conversation and really utilize this time to learn more about her. Then set the mood to move to 'study session' number three.❞
❝Okay.❞
❝Date three. 'Accidentally' bump her hand and if you catch her hair falling in her face, use the opportunity to cutely brush it behind her ear. That move will literally put any girl's heart into overdrive. And maybe...if she starts sending you signs and signals, go in for the kiss.❞
❝Isn't that way too early?!❞
❝Better to get her too early than too late. Looks like time is of essence here, saying that someone else is already eyeing her.❞
❝But-❞
❝But what?❞
❝I feel like that's just weird.❞
❝Why?❞
❝Well...I have no experience with kisses...❞
❝Say wha-?❞
*jaw drops*
❝Wait...you've never kissed a girl before?❞
❝...❞
❝Not even the slightest touch of a girl's lips?❞
❝...❞
❝Oh, London. This could be a make or break for you! If you're a bad kisser, it's all over! She'll never want to go down like London London London.❞
❝I'm seriously freaking out over here and all you can do is make a joke?❞
❝Sorry, sorry...buuuuut...❞
❝What?❞
❝I might just have a solution for you.❞
❝Okay, I'm listening.❞
❝Well listen real closely because I am NOT gonna repeat this. Call me on my regular number, not the hotline.❞
*click*
❝Oh boy...I'm scared to see what she has up her sleeve.❞
