Brown Eyed Boy

Hosptial Room Confessional (Carlos POV)

The ambulance and the police showed up at the same time. I barely dragged Cassie out of the way of the paramedics before they started strapping Jessie to a gurney. When one of them noticed Cassie shivering, they asked if she was hurt but she just shook her head as she stared at Jessie. I could see that she was scared too, probably more than me because if Jessie hadn't gotten her out of the way that could have been her. Despite her denial, the paramedic ordered her into the ambulance for the hospital to do tests. I swear I never saw her freak out the way she did at that moment. She broke down in tears and dropped to the floor, saying she was sorry and she would never do it again, all she wanted was for Jessie to be okay and she promised she would be good. The paramedic seemed a little nervous at the tears and told her they just wanted to make sure she was okay too, but the tears kept coming as she shook her head.

            “Cass, no one is blaming you for anything,” I told her. “They just want to check on you.”

            “I'm sorry,” she said between tears. “I'm sorry.”

            Before I could respond, the paramedic turned to me and spoke. “We really need to get your friend to the hospital,” he said. “If you're coming, you need to get in now.”

            “We're going,” I said without pause. I turned back to Cassie and she looked up at me, fear suddenly making her seem smaller than usual. She didn't look like she was moving anytime soon and I was too nervous about Jessie to wait; I picked up Cassie and out of habit her arms instantly went around my neck as I walked to the ambulance. Seconds after we got in, the paramedic closed the doors and the ambulance started moving. Looking out the door windows, the last thing I saw from the street was the police questioning Emmett and Jared.

*          *          *          *          *         

            Everything after that seemed like I was walking through a fog. I barely remembered my phone call to Jessie's parents and my mom; barely remembered the questions the police asked me and how I answered. All I could seem to think of was Jessie lying on the ground in front of Jared's car and the look on Cassie's face. We were at the hospital for a half hour before my mom showed up. Cassie was back from her tests and wanted desperately to go home. No matter how much she begged me, I just couldn't leave; not without seeing Jessie or knowing she was okay. I couldn't tell Cassie that though; I could tell she blamed herself for what happened and I didn't want to mention it again. Our mom must have known because she told Cassie I would be home later. Cassie didn't ask why and silently walked away.

            I was still sitting in my chair, face in my hands, when Jessie's mom found me. “I thought you would still be here,” she said as she sat next to me. “How's your sister?”

            “Physically, she's fine,” I answered, looking up but not at her. “A few scrapes on her hands but nothing serious. I think she's just more scared than anything.”

            “That's understandable,” she said. “And how are you?” I just sat in silence, not knowing what to say. I felt nervous, but had no idea why. I was mad at myself still, for not paying better attention and freezing up the way I did. I felt extremely guilty, like it was my fault; like I was the one driving the car. But even more than any of that, I was scared. I was afraid of how badly Jessie was hurt and afraid that she blamed me for all of this too.

            “I honestly don't know,” I responded quietly.

            “Well, hopefully this news will help,” she said. “I just spoke to the doctor and they said she's going to be okay. Her arm is fractured and they think she bumped her head when she fell, but other than that they can't find anything wrong with her.”