Brown Eyed Boy

Starting New (Jessie POV)

Cassie didn’t automatically bounce back to who she was, but gradually she began to. By the start of the new year, she was almost the little girl I met in the supermarket that day last summer. Carlos was a little different. He wasn’t a complete control freak about where Cassie or I were at all times, but he was clearly more vigilant. Sometimes, I thought I could still see the blame in his eyes but as the months progressed, the blame disappeared leaving only happiness behind. And even though we were dating now, he never changed from the Carlos I knew and was used to. He didn’t throw himself at me every chance he got and made sure that I knew he was always my best friend first. Even though our relationship didn’t seem different, it somehow felt deeper to me. I wasn’t as guarded with my feelings around him anymore and without me ever having to say anything to him, he always seemed to know what I wanted. Something even better was that I never saw that angry and scary emotionless Carlos again; not since Jared left. Since then, especially with the start of a new year, it was like everyone was getting a fresh start.

Jared especially seemed to like that idea. A week after that day I spoke to him, my mom told me that he decided to get help. When I heard, I was happy for him. If anyone needed a change in their life it was definitely Jared. And the fact that he sought out to make that change made me smile. It proved that even the worst off people could take their life into their own hands and make it change for the better. Seeing that Jared did it inspired me to do the same.

The new year was a time to start over and make resolutions on things we wanted in life or wanted to change. This time, I was going to make some resolutions of my own and I was going to make an effort to keep them. I was going to be more confident in myself and stop wondering what Carlos saw in me. I was going to let my past stay in the past and not ruin my present or future. I was going to be an all around better Jessie for myself and not let anyone change who I was again. And I was definitely going to make sure I didn’t do anything to lose Carlos; whether as my boyfriend or my best friend. He, Cassie and Emmett were what kept me together and made me the new Jessie I wanted to keep. If they were gone, I had no idea where I would be let alone who.

And it was something I definitely didn’t want to find out.