Brown Eyed Boy

This, I Promise (Jessie POV)

By the time I got home and out of the rain, I was shivering from both shock and my cold dripping wet clothes. My hot shower only helped for about five minutes and then the shivering turned more into spasms as tears silently streamed down my face. The initial numbness of Dylan's death was apparently wearing off, but I wasn't fool enough to believe that was the only reason for my crying. I'd tried twice to help Jared and failed both times. Sure, the second time wasn't so bad and I almost thought I had reached the old Jared. But then he walked away an empty shell of that person and I knew he was lost with Dylan.

My phone buzzed for the fifth time and I looked to see Carlos' name again. School was over and he was undoubtedly calling to check on me, but I just wanted to be left alone. My mom thought I was just crying about Dylan but Carlos knew me too well. He would take one look at me and know that the tears I was shedding were for Jared too. And that was something I didn't want him to know. I hit the ignore button and stared up at the ceiling blankly, trying not to think about Dylan, Jared or Carlos. It worked for a few minutes until there was a knock on my door and my mom walked in.

“Hey, you know Carlos is looking for you,” she said from my doorway.

“He called the house?” I asked. She nodded and I felt slightly guilty about ignoring him.

“So why aren't you answering?” she asked. “You two get in a fight or something?”

“No,” I sighed. “I just don't want him around right now. Just because I'm in a crying mood doesn't mean he has to be around for it.”

“Did you ever consider that he wants to be around for it?” she asked. “Carlos gave me the impression of someone who sticks by their friends when they need them.”

“He is,” I answered. My mom just stood in silence and stared at me as though waiting for more. Then I realized she was wearing her jacket. “Are you going out?”

“I'm going to Ruby's,” she replied. “If you want you could come too. You and Jared could help each other get through this.”

“That's okay,” I said. “We didn't get that far at that funeral, so I doubt we will now. Thanks for offering though.”

“No problem,” she nodded and turned toward my door. Pausing before closing it behind her, she looked over her shoulder at me again. “If you aren't going to talk to Jared and won't answer Carlos' phone calls at least text him. He just wants to make sure you're okay.”

“Okay,” I said. “I will.” But as she closed the door behind her I knew that I wouldn't because I wasn't okay at all.

*          *          *          *          *         

I must have cried myself to sleep because when I woke up about an hour later, my face felt slightly stiff from the dried tears. I looked at my phone and saw that there were another four missed calls from Carlos and I sighed, almost calling him back. Instead I got up from my bed and walked to my bathroom to wash off my face and brush my teeth. With the faucet turned off, the sound of the rain outside was almost comforting. But then I heard a sound that wasn't the rain and I stiffened, unsure of what to do. At first, I thought I had imagined the sound but then after a few seconds of silence I heard it again and realized it was coming from my window. I looked around my bathroom door toward my window and hoped to see that it was just a low hanging branch tapping against the glass, but instead found a familiar face looking in.

I sighed again and walked over to the window to open it. “Carlos?” I said in disbelief. “Why are you at my window right now?”

“Because you wouldn't answer your phone,” he answered as though it were obvious. “Are you going to let me in before I get struck by lightning?”