Chapter 14: Resentment

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"The biggest shame, is to mock at something that you have in yourself" ~Imam Ali
. . .

I wiped my nose with the back of my sleeve. My pale fingers trailed over Joshua's face as I tried to reminisce how I used to lovingly trace the curves of his delicate features. A sigh escaped my lips. I'll never get to feel his burning touch on my skin again, nor his affectionate gaze.

I couldn't help but snort at myself. You realized that a little late, don't you think? Should have thought about that before making him say goodbye to this world. God, I hated myself so damn much. What was wrong with me? Why did I constantly act like an innocent girl whose boyfriend had been snatched away from her cruelly. I just didn't get it.

I placed the photo frame back on the side table, and let out a groan, rubbing my face furiously with my hands and shaking my head to bring my swollen eyes back into focus. I heard the bed creak beneath me, and suddenly, felt a presence right behind me.

"Why were you crying?" A voice lightly whispered in my ears.

"Jesus Christ!"

I let out a gasp in surprise, springing up from the bed, and clutched at my heart as though I was afraid it would jump out of my chest. My eyes screwed shut as I tried to regain the breath that had just hitched in my throat.

"Yoongi! What the hell was that for? I though you we're asleep. You scared the shit out of me!"

He gave me a sheepish grin in return, a thin red line peeking out from under his chapped lips. He scratched the back of his neck and averted his gaze from you.

"I, uh, kind of heard you talking to yourself. I wasn't exactly asleep, you know?"

My eyes widened as I realized what he had just said. He heard me talking about Joshua. Fuck. I clamped my jaw hard and gritted my teeth, an unintentional hiss leaving my mouth. Yoongi looked up in alarm, and raised his arms in the air as if to surrender.

"D-don't worry. I-i won't ask you if you don't want to tell me," he nervously stuttered, and I heard him audibly gulp. My lips curled up and pressed into a thin line.

"Good. It's none of your business anyways," I said coldly, heading towards the door, but not before looking at his taken-aback face.

I made my way out of the hostel, and found my feet taking a familiar path. All the way, guilt weighed down at my heart. Why did I have to act like a such a bitch towards poor Yoongi? It wasn't his fault if he overheard me. I was talking too loud anyways.

"Ugh!"

I stomped my feet on the ground, my mouth turning into a pout. My squeal of dismay caught the attention of a guy passing by, and he looked alarmingly at me, his eyebrows raised so high, I was scared they might vanish into his copper hair. I snapped my head towards him.

"What?" I growled menacingly. The petrified guy shrunk in fear and took a couple steps back from me, staring at me with huge eyes. A little farther away, and he broke out into a run, turning to look back at me once as he reached a turn. My chest was rising and falling at a fast pace as I took deep breaths to calm myself down. Dejectedly, I slumped down onto the sidewalk of the deserted streets, and dug my head into my hands.

A few minutes later, I heard soft footsteps coming my way, and I lifted my head to see who it was. A tall guy was walking towards me, bouncing on the balls of his feet, singing a happy song as he munched on something in his hand. I abruptly stood up, causing him to snap his eyes towards me as he stopped in mid-chewing. I squinted my eyes to make out his features, and he did the same. Just as I registered who he was, he took a double flip, the thing that I now knew to be an ice cream cone, almost flying out of his grasp. He stifled a gasp and stared back at me, looked down, rubbed his eyes with his free hand, then stared back at me again.

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