Poetry;; sugakookie

10:15

WARNING: Non-proof read and sloppily done, I apologize and please enjoy !

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Dear Min Yoongi,

Starting from today, I'm gonna have something with you

I'm gonna call you every day

Even though I can't eat gluten

I'm gonna go around eating delicious food with you

Did you like the poem today? It's from the song "Some" By Bolbbalgan4. They're a really cute duo I saw recently, and OH, you saw them too at MAMA right? I wonder how it was to hear their silky indie voices live, it probably was absolutely unreal. But either way, you should listen to more of their songs, (especially the one up above ;D ) it's absolutely amazing.

I've been listening to indie songs lately and I've been on the down low. I don't know, this year is already coming to an end soon in the last month of December and the fact that I survived a whole 11 months of 2017 is absolutely insane. I'm just proud of myself for being able to wake up in the morning and getting out of bed for a whole 11 months straight. 

Oh, speaking of myself. I've been thinking

Self worth. Confidence.

Those are factors that are needed in life.

And...

Those are factors I painfully, tragically, and obviously lack.

There's no point A to Point Z of being a human, there's no such thing as a full "glow-up" because, well I sure as hell am still developing even as a grown 19 year old boy. 

Y'know Min Yoongi, that's what I don't understand. I always see young like 13 year old's or 16 year old's forcing themselves to grow up physically and mentally. 

And sure, some do it to gain your run of the mill rarity (at least for me) called self-confidence and acceptance. But some do it not because they need self-confidence or acceptance, some do it because they need some type of materialistic form of assurance that they have been growing and that they have made progress.

Pride, that's what we all want. We have some type of pride whenever we see an old picture of ourselves and compare it to a present picture of ourselves. We have some type of pride whenever we compare our old handwriting to our now present handwriting. 

Many don't think about pride in that manner or at all really, but if you think about it. Everything is a product of pride.

It's how we handle that pride that is the determining factor.

Some can turn that pride into narcissism and greed,

and some can turn that pride into confidence and determination. 

Either way, what I really am concerned about is the faltering amounts of pride people have. 

Including me.

 As a guy, I'm always surrounded around popular pale skinned and tall clean-cut men who have their heads raised up high with careers.

 I'm... I'm none of that, and it makes you feel out-of-place and it really makes you question your value. It makes me think,

Am I really that relevant?

Do I deserve everything I have in my life? 

Do I deserve any of my friend's I have? 

Min Yoongi... do I really deserve you?

There's so many great people out there in the world, and there's so many talented, beautiful popular people around me that have a certain way of talking and behaving that I just can't do to fit in.

It makes me feel so lonely even when I have solid friendships, and it makes me wonder if I'm being selfish or not. I want to become better, and I want to have my "glow-up". I want to show everyone who think less of me because of my awkward personality that I'm more than a tall walking mess who's in love with an Idol. I want to show the world that I can, and will be more than that. I want to make my best friend, Chanyeol, proud of me for making healthy choices of my own. I want to make my parents proud.

And I...

...don't really know how to do that yet.

But you know what, that's okay. Screw social standards,

I'm going to grow at my own pace, and I'm going to grow in my own way that will make ME happy. I know i won't really have this type of confidence when I'm in the outside world, and I'm probably am going to lack remembrance of this whole inspirational banter I had with myself and of course you too.

But I can try, 

Because there's no Point. A to Point. Z or time limit when it comes to developing as a human,

there's only the time until you die to "glow up" and mature. 

And you know what,

no one could tell me otherwise, not the preppy girls or jocks at my school and not my teachers either. 

and that's okay.

Anyway I'm sorry that I got deep once more with everything all over again, it really actually shouldn't be something that's new to you anymore, Min Yoongi.

But either way, i'm sappy, sentimental, and well...

proud.

anyway,

Eat well, Sleep well, and Drink well! :)

- JJK

A/n:

Hello everyone! It's been awhile since we've seen each other right? I'm sorry that i've been gone for quite some time. I'm in the process of ACADEMY APPLICATIONS... and it's been stressful frankly, I had to write essays and fill out paperwork and now I have my first interview this upcoming Thursday. It's quite a pain, but i'm getting through it! Anyway, I missed you guys, and I hope you all are staying warm (or cool, depending where you are). I'm sorry for such a sloppy rushed chapter, and I will try to post more frequently.

And lastly, thank you for all the views and votes. You guys seriously don't need to give me any votes, but you do either way and I'm eternally grateful. I humbly will continue writing and I will cater to all of you who have been with me through this journey, and those who have just joined me. thank you.

- your grateful authornim