Street Youth Rising ~Septiplier~

Complicated Feelings

-- Mark --

"Take care of yourself." Jack muttered as he walked me to my doorstep. I hesitantly brought his arm from around my shoulders, already missing the cool feel of his skin. The sun shone over our bodies, giving me warmth. Yet, I was more focused on the way it turned Jacks hair into a gold and red outline with every hair it hit. I couldn't hold back a smile at how adorable he wa- I shook my head at myself, these thoughts not normal for someone like me. They weren't natural in my mind. As far as I know, I'm not gay.

"Thanks for walking me home." I said with a smile. Jack returned it, and his smile seemed forced as I looked him in the eyes. His bright blue orbs stared into my brown ones, and, for a moment, I got lost in the cloudless skies trapped within his irises. I grew interested in the swirling sea beneath his pupils and the hurricane in his soul. I felt safe in this unknown territory, for some reason.

I looked him in the eyes as I searched for any sign of wanting to stay with me longer. It felt so early, but he promised me that he would bring me to my door. Couldn't we have just hung out for awhile? Hit up Carson Café or the skate park. Sadly, I knew neither could happen as my dad was waiting for me inside.

"Well..." Jack stumbled as I looked over at the door, setting my skateboard by it. He seemed to be picking up that fact that I had to go.

"Yeah." I muttered quietly. I was just as bad at goodbyes, I decided, as I stepped inside. I gave a friendly nod and shut the door behind me. Jacks sun-lined silhouette was the last I saw of the outside.

With a heavy heart, I turned and made my way into the house.

"Where have you been?" My dad called from the couch as he watched Family Feud. That was our show. Our tradition. Our routine.

"Walking home. A friend walked me here." I replied as I made my way past him, into the kitchen. Walking over to the fridge, I grabbed a Dr. Pepper before making my way back into the living room.

"Mm. What's their name?" He asked me. "Jack." I replied.
"The guy you bumped into?"
"Uhh. Y-yeah."

We sat for a few moments with no words exchanged. Family Feud was the only sound, other than the loud pop and a quiet fizz from my drink as I cracked open the bottle tab.

"So. You guys are actually friends? I thought he hated you." My dad stated. I remembered Jacks words from our first actual conversation: There's a difference between living and just being alive, lad. This made me shiver slightly, thinking about the few things I was hiding from my dad about Jack. About how we skipped school. About the note I left saying I was going to get early morning coffee, when really I was sneaking out at three in the morning with Jack. About Jack and I pressed together in the small closet before our first escapade. There were plenty of things he didn't need to know. There would be even more secrets by the time this year is over. What he didn't know wouldn't kill him. Wouldn't kill me. At least, it wouldn't kill me until my father found out. I shoved the thought away, not wanting to think about it.

"I thought he hated you." My dad repeated to himself.

"I thought he hated me too, but I guess we're fine now." I replied simply. My mind flashed back to me running into him; our books flying, us hitting the floor, him muttering curses, and me bowing my head in submission before running away with my tail tucked between my legs.

Yet, my head also pulled to the good moments. Jacks look of anger when Kellin grabbed my shirt, him defending me from Kellin, the two of us skateboarding together and the look in his eyes as he chuckled and asked if I wanted to try again, him pulling me into a janitors closet with us almost pressed together, how he helped me up before we walked home today.