And I just discovered that my dog likes onion flavored chips wtf.
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It all started this morning. I went grocery shopping with my grandparents and after I went to their home. I helped them to move the heavy bags and I was waiting for my dad to wake the fuck up so he could open the motherfucking door.
My grandma started to laugh suddenly, looking behind me.
And that's already spoopy af.
I turned around slowly and I saw the neighbor's dog on their car where he could just hop the wall and happily munch on my flesh.
Don't get me wrong, I love doggos but bad doggos scare me.
This is a christian house, no bad doggos allowed!
Vietnam war flashbacks started to play in my head but thank God my grandma found spare keys outta nowhere.
We entered, I greeted my doggo but I felt weird. I went immediately in the bathroom and yes...
I shit myself.
Let's skip when I returned home, shall we?
Awba and Sei greeted me at the same time and with same frase. They looked at each other surprised and then they started to laugh.
I didn't think it was cute AT ALL.
My heartbeat started to skip and I passed my hand over my belly. It was time to go to the bathroom again.
I went out and I noticed Noiz on my muthafokin pc AGAIN. "Hey!!" I screamed too loud. Noiz jumped and clicked some buttons involuntarly. I went to him and I saw that he was just watching my material for the exam. A window popped up and my files were deleted in no time. "NOOOOOOOOO!!!" I screamed again but this time I destroyed everyone's ears. "Yo calm down, you can restore them from the trash bin..." He said trying to stop the blood coming out of his ears. I calmed down too quickly and that thing in the stomach made itself present again. I run to the bathroom again.
I came out and I saw Mink on the sofa, and his face was more angry than always. "Something the matter, big boy?" I asked. "I think reader-chan is pregnant."
Several minutes of silence passed.
Reader-chan can't be pregnant! How will I find another neutral actress that wants to be in those shitty stories!? I don't have that kind of money!!!
Nor I will do some stories about pregnant bitches!
"What will I do...?" I asked in the verge of tears. Mink turned to me, he took my red face between his hands. "I want you to listen to me but try not to panic." He said in a soft voice. My belly already started to hurt. "You remember... The previous story? The nsfw headcanons?" "Y-yeah..." "Good, you didn't include protections." "Okay, it's my fault... Who's the lucky guy?"
Mink looked at me in the eyes.
"It's Clear."
I started to frick out so bad...
"HOW WHY!? WTF NOT HIM! HALF OF THE AUDIENCE LIKES HIM NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!"
Reader-chan entered. "Lol it was a prank bro."
I looked at her in disblief.
"I'm the pregnant one!" Said Clear jumping from behind reader-chan.
"I'm so manly I made him my wife." Said Mink patting himself. "Oh that's actually cute!" I said relaxing. But my belly was like hell. I run once again into the bathroom, I greeted Levi that was trying to make new recipes for his sandwiches(I will explain in another story) and I sat on my throne.
"Yo." He greeted me. "'Sup boi." I greeted back. "I don't want to be creepy but this is your third time today..." He said looking at his new sandwich. "The fourth..." I corrected him. "Where do you even store all that stuff...?" He said surprised. "Dunno boi..." I said taking some soap container and I started to read.
And that's it...
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What's true and what's not? You'll never know.
But I know that I'm gonna shit myself for the next story...
Use protections, kids.
