Do you remember?
It was long ago.
There was an innocent spaghetti eater.
And her nightmares.
That man was hiding from the world.
That man was under her bed.
That man...
One day I woke up, grumpy af as always, and after looking around trying to remember who tf I was, I went to the bathroom. I was singin' on the toilet, then I started to be a model in front of the mirror and then I started to create dance moves. You know, normal things.
From the bedroom a handsome man crawled out from under my bed, crying histerically. "I can't! I can't anymore!!" He screamed panicked.
Obviously I didn't ear shit, too occupied to be fab.
"Yes, yes. This is better!" He said creepily while holding a knife, slowly walking to my bathroom door.
"Oh I loved them... Alll of them." He whispered, thinking about all the precious otome gamers that like him. "Oh I loved her too... But she must die!" He screamed again throwing a knife at the door. Yes, I was still engrossed in my ritual(?).
Then the camera zoomed at Toma's (yes, it's Toma betch) face and flashbacks were displayed.
Aoba and the others that for some reason were doing the do on my bed, me and my best friend that were jumping on... The bed, me and my best friend again but now we were jumping with Satan-chan, now there is me and reader-chan reading on some not really pure fanfic.... Ah this one is crucial, there is Toue and my three! Oh God! They're doing the do too! Oh damn!
But why in my bedroom tho?
And there it was, Toma's face with '1000% done' written all over his face.
The flash back stops and reader-chan enters in my room. "Oh!" Them exclaimed softly. "S-sorry! I didn't know Ciacci had... Someone... In her bed...room..."
Toma looked them way(?) and with a violent gesture he took the knife. Reader-chan run downstairs... Why thank you, you really have balls there, uh!?
Toma knocked at the door... Then again... And again.... "LISTEN U FAT CUNT!(If you know cowbelly, I will marry you)OPEN THIS MADAFAKIN' DOOR!!" He finally screamed.
"Okay, goddamn! If this is fucking Koujacket I will shove my big fat-" I opened the door but yeah, there wasn't Koujaku but my worst nightmare.
The nightmare that awakens my italian side.
"MA PORCO-!" I screamed. I immediately closed the door on his face and I blocked it with tons and tons of animu pillows(I wish). Toma started to rape my door with the knife until finally he could shove his face tru one giant hole. "Here's your brother!" He exclaimed happy. "I didn't scream but instead I shoved a boot at his face. Toma started to scream in pain and put his hands on his eyes.
Seing the opportunity I opened the door, cracking his nose, and ran downstairs. "REGA' C'È TOMA!" I screamed while everyone was minding their damn business. "U-oh, Ciacci is in italian-mode again!" Clear exclaimed. Aoba sighed heavilly and took a screwdriver outta no where.
"Oh no, no. Tu non mi ci impali con quel coso!" I said taking a lamp nearby for defense.
Mink entered the house, he was in the garden, whispering to the nature.
"Do not worry, we can help you." He sait trying to calm me down. "VOI NON CAPITE, TOMA MI VUOLE UCCIDERE IL CULO CON UN COLTELLO!" I scereamed doing some gestures to let them know that my butt's gonna be dead.
"Uhm... Does she want to fuck an octopus?" Said Koujacket with a frown. "What? I mean... Maybe that wasn't an octopus?" Said Awba a little shaken up. "We all hope that, Awba." Ren reassured him. "Well, we got the porno part." Stated Clear looking attentively at my gestures. I sat on the floor and streams of tears gushed out.
"Oh yes, the german kid..." Mink whispered to himself and without thinking he called him there with some old magic. Noiz appeared in front of everyone with his pants down and newspaper in hands. Mink coffed out of embarassement and he returned outside.
"What the fuck?" Asked Noiz to the rest. Aoba just pointed at me.
I was running around trying to not get killed by that bitch... And no one was helping me.
Noiz looked Aoba in disblief and the rest. "What!? We don't know Italian! We can't understand what's the problem!" Exclaimed Koujacket.
Noiz first picked up his pants, and then he slapped my arm, killing a mosquito. "Ma che cazzo Noiz!? C'È UN FOTTUTO UOMO CHE MI VUOLE MORTA!" I screamed at him but I didn't have time to think about his big fat shnitzel, I had to get away! Toma was still there pursuing me!
Noiz got back to Awba. "Yeah... I dunno either tf is wrong." He said sitting on the sofa. Then suddenly, the two started to make out. "Hey! What about me!?" Said Koujaku. Noiz was 75% done with this situation so he just took Koujaku and pulled him in the tongue-battle. "Aw man..." Whined Clear. Mink opened the front door but he didn't enter. He just poked his head in and winked at Clear. The sweet guy stood up happy and run up to Mink for a universe full of love and unicorns.
But returning to Toma, he was still after me. I run into my best friend's bedroom and closed the door. After the 2456788554^ stab, the knife just died. Toma took a table from somewhere and opened the door with it. I stumbled on the bed and the guy finally trapped me under him (oh hey there...). Toma laughed like a maniac while I was down there completely expressionless because goddamn I'm tired.
Toma looked around for a weapon, still on me.
A second later something took his interest. "Do you think this can be used as a weapon?" He asked taking the object, turning it on. *Brrr Brrr* Yes it was a... That. "Ma che..." I whispered surprised. "Let's test it out on your skull!" He exclaimed trying to hit me with that fucking dragon dildo.
But, thanks God, someone entered the room with a beautiful and powerful iron armor with several big guns. It was reader-chan! "You will NOT kill her!" You screamed and fired... Not hitting him. "O-ops.." You said panicking. I looked at you. "Th-that was it. No more bullets..." You explained. I took Toma's arms and I tries to die myself. But Aoba snatched the thing away. "Why the fuck are you two playing with my... I mean, Koujaku's dildo!?" He scolded us and went away.
Toma got up and before crashing out the window he looked at me in the eyes "I will work so hard so that I can buy so much dragon dildos... I'll make you lesbian!"
You and me remained silent for a moment. "I mean... I'm already... Okay..." I said but no point in explaining it now... And that was the end.
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So... That's it.
I dunno man... God and a dragon dildo in the same story? Mmmh...
