Let Me Help // Kim Seungmin

1.

" i think you travel to search
and you come back home
to find yourself there. "

Jess Point Of View.

The cold winter wind was hitting my skin and sending shivers down my spine. This weather, it was my favorite, as the dark did an amazing job at hiding me from the public eye and I was able to be unseen.

Everyone is born as a blank book, without a title, without a story and it's your job to fill in the blanks, but I've never wanted to fill them in. Remembering all the times I would get excited about a new adventure or how I wanted to get in trouble, just so I got some experience.

But with time people change and so does their will for a new story or a new experience. The burning power inside me had died down ever since I moved to Seoul. The atmosphere was different from what I was used to, the people my age were childish and uninteresting, not to mention the crazy fans of idols, who are ready to chop off your head if you dared to give out an opinion they didn't agree with, usually associated to their idols or groups.

Am I clinically sad? I may be. Am I mad, I am, certainly. Why am I mad? It's not a question to be answered. Do I hate my 'new life'? I suppose you could say so.

No one bullied me, nobody called me names. It wasn't even that they ignored me, it was the total opposite in all honesty. The boys from my school showed interest in me as a friend. The girls from my school were friendly but their problems were of twelve-year-old children. I have never known what they think of me behind closes doors but it may be better to never find that out.

My lack of hard work and my overwhelming amount of laziness has deemed me ''clinically sad". I don't talk to people, cause I'm just not worth their time. I don't take apart in class activities, cause I'm bound to mess everything up.

Yet here I am walking to my therapist appointment that my parents deemed necessary. They love me a lot and I'm not mad at them for it, but it's all just a factor in how much money they spent in this and so that's how hard the therapist will work.

I opened the door to a hospital, somewhere in here was the psychological ward, the one my doctor worked at. I haven't met the doctor ever in my life nor do I wish I did.

Walking into the ward I saw many faces. Some people shared the same emotion as me, I could relate to them. I could only ever imagine what they've gone thru. There were also people who actually seemed quite unstable, which made me feel bad for them as well. Imagine living your whole life with the emotional pain they were experiencing.

Soon my eyes met the door with the numbers '202' and a pin with the name " Mr.Pinterson " on it. I quietly knocked on the door.

" Come in! " a cheery voice greeted me, he sounded so happy and pleased with life. How? How can one be so damn happy?

" Good evening. " I said quietly and sat at the edge of the couch that was obviously for the patient. For the talker, for the one who needs help

" You're Lee Songhee? " Mr.Pinterson asked. His voice so inviting and convincing, the structure of his voice already pointed out the obvious, even if I wish not to tell him something, I know I'll just get manipulated in talking. I suppose it isn't a bad thing tho.