The Things That Haunt Us

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Frank POV

It's been eight bitter years since I've seen his beautiful face.

In the flesh at least.

There are times when I'm busy working on a new song, or just doing anything in general, and I look up, and I swear I see him. His red hair hanging in his face, leather jacket-clad around his body, hazel eyes staring me down.

But no, it can't be him.

Gerard died eight years ago.

He was in an accident. I'd been with him when it happened. It was my fault. We'd been driving to the movies, headed to a double date with Mikey and Kristen. Thinking about that day caused me to wince in pain, just as the memory flashed before my eyes.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Black Flag played through the speakers. It was currently one of their most popular songs, 'Nervous Breakdown.' Gerard sat next to me in the driver's seat, grinning and singing along.

"I'm about to have a nervous breakdown. I hear that it hurts." His pretty voice blended well with the song. "If I can't find my way out of here, I'm going to go berserk."

He turned and looked at me, blushing a little as he caught me staring. He removed a single hand from the steering wheel, and reached over and grabbed mine with it. He swiped his thumb over my knuckles as he turned his focus back on the road, still singing.

When we arrived at the theater we had to cross a busy road, so we found a place to park and got out of his car, preparing to walk. There was a huge bush on the corner, and honestly, I don't know why they hadn't removed it, no one could see the oncoming traffic around it and most of the time the pedestrian light didn't work. I was hungry, however, so I ran ahead of Gerard to get into the theater first. When I did that, however, I didn't see the truck headed my way.

"Frank watch out!" I heard him yell. I was already in the middle of the street however, so when I looked up to see the truck coming at me, it was too late to head back. I expected to feel the pain as it collided with my body. Instead, I felt a force come from my side as I was pushed onto the ground. I heard the tires scream, I smelt the rubber burn, but all I felt was panic. Despite the throbbing in my head, I quickly got up and examined the area to confirm my fears. When I finally saw it, my heart stopped beating, I stopped breathing, and my entire world ceased to exist. The truck had stopped a few feet in front of me, and there was blood everywhere. His body lay in front of the truck, being the source of the blood. Gerard...my beautiful, beautiful Gerard, now lay, probably dead, all because of me. I think I screamed, I'm not really sure though, and I immediately ran towards him. When I reached him, I fell next to his side, grasping his body and pulling myself down to him. I couldn't stop the tears rushing down my face.

"G..G... Gee... Nooo... Come on baby get up you're okay... Oh God Gerard why would you do that no no nooo." I was completely in hysterics as I held my lover's body. His limbs were twisted in ways I knew were not right, and his beautiful face had blood all over. I cried and cried while I held him, almost not noticing the people rushing towards us.

The events after that were a complete blur, people shouting, rushing around, and the sound of sirens. All I could do was cry, while medics took my boyfriend's body from me and attempted to save him. I was told after the medics showed up and took him, I blacked out from a panic attack. That's why I don't remember anything after that until I woke up. When they told me he didn't make it. When they told me the love of my life was dead. And it was all my fault.

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