An Improper Courtship

Improper care

"Do you not wish me to?" Blake could hear the tone of uncertainty in her voice and his deepest desire was to protect her from whatever concerned her.

"It is not so much, I wish you not to but rather I fear the outcome."

Blake took Rosalie's face with his hands and forced her to look into his eyes.

"Do not fear the negative, Rosalie," The confidence that exuded from Blake relieved Rosalie slightly. After a softer goodnight kiss, the two reluctantly let go of each other.

Blake awoke early the next day, his sleep had been disturbed by dreams he could not remember. His chest felt heavy, as though books had been piled atop his chest. Unbeknownst to him, Blake felt a sense of anxiety, an emotion entirely foreign to him. He was sure that he had never felt in such a way before. Breakfast barely settled in his stomach as he felt an uncomfortable sensation of what Blake likened to pebbles. He made his way to his Uncle's office, hoping by getting this out of the way all these sensations would dissipate. Tentatively he knocked on the office door.

"Come in," Sir Michael's tired voice called from within, "Ah, I was not expecting you," he said raising his head from the sheets and books that flooded his table.

"Is this a good time, sir?" Blake tried to catch a glimpse to understand the paper mess on his desk.

Sir Michael sighed agitatedly and arose from his seat and led his nephew to sit on two couch chairs, "What is it?"

Blake was unsure if now was a good time to bring up him and Rosalie when her father seemed so distracted, he remembered what his mother used to say "If you start a journey in the storms then you'll be much more certain to fail than starting your journey in the sunshine,"

"Honestly, Sir, I can return at a more convenient time,"

Sir Michael sat on the single couch and looked up "Then you will most certainly have to wait a long time," he saw the man's eyes seem to deliberate upon two thoughts, feeling it was a familiar action.

"I am attempting my own research on Alyssa's condition,"

Blake nodded and took his seat, "Is she aware of her arranged departure yet?"

Sir Michael laughed dryly, "I suspect that if she did, there wouldn't be such silence in the house at this very moment,"

Blake understood that statement well, he had seen anger rise in Rosalie and had been privy to Alyssa's anger growing up and now.

"Your aunt ordered the maids to pack as much possible without her noticing and I believe she will take breakfast with your doctor friend,"

"This is the best course of action, uncle, you'll see" seeing the uncertainty on the older man's face, brought a selfish wash of confidence. He questioned his selfishness but couldn't help that the nerves were dissipating.

"What is it that you came to see me for?" Sir Michael said after a moment of silence, he turned his attention back to Blake.

Now at the start of his opportunity, Blake stumbled for the correct words, where would he begin, he was unsure?

"Sir, I'm here to request your... well in fact I felt the need to tell you," Blake started, shifting in his seat. He had two courses of action he could follow. The faster route or longer one.

He thought of what words the longer route would consist of, he would have to just come out with it. "I would like to officially court Rosalie in London," however in his head, those words didn't feel honest. Spending a week of sweet moments with the ever so blunt and truthful Rosalie meant he owed the simpler truth to her father.

"I am in love with your daughter Rosalie and hope to marry her," Blake stated, keeping his voice flat and devoid of the emotions that were resurfacing from the morning. His eyes watched as Sir Michaels face gave nothing away. The stillness that swamped the office would have suffocated Blake if it had lasted any longer, he didn't know what he had expected, perhaps yelling, shouting, disgust. He was entirely unsure what this silence signified.

"So she told you," he broke the silence, he seemed slightly embarrassed, "I hope you will keep this secret within the family,"

"Of course," he straightened his back,

"Is she aware of your intention of matrimony? " for a man who had been giving away his emotions from his movements and expression earlier, Blake was unable to discern a thing at this moment. He coughed uncomfortably, Rosalie was ignorant to the prospect of marriage she thought that this meeting would only be for their courtship.

"We have spoken of courtship sir, however on my side I am certain where I would like our relations to end," Blake tried to gather the little confidence he was feeling in front of the man who had the power to dictate his future happiness.

"Son," Sir Michael began, "I wish nothing but happiness for my daughter, I have caused her nothing more than inconvenience and if you bring that happiness then so be it, I will accept it."

Blake was registering the words slowly, "However, you should broach the subject of marriage carefully."

Blake was unsure at the direction this conversation had taken, should he offer him gratitude, "Thank you, sir."

"Do not thank me yet, I don't know how Rosalie will approach the idea of marriage."

Blake found the words cryptic and despite the elation, he felt at Sir Michaels permission, he felt a strange sense of dread. Proceeding he explained the terms of the courtship in London, how he would do everything as demanded by society.

"I wish you all the best," Blake was taken aback by these words,

"Pray, Uncle why do I sense that you believe this may not unravel as I wish it to?" he trod carefully over his words. Sir Michael ruminated, he was unsure of what to tell the young man without breaking his heart and hopes.

"Rosalie's mother was very much against the idea of marriage, Rosalie grew up in an environment that is very different and perhaps strange to us,"

Rosalie had mentioned her mother and the different company she had kept in Paris, he knew that she did not have a conventional relationship with her father. He obviously understood the complexity of her position, he wondered if perhaps her agitation on their picnic had been something he should have been more aware of.

"Forgive me for prying but I must lighten this doubt, did Rosalie's mother reject your hand in marriage?"

Sir Michael smiled but the emptiness in his hazel eyes showed that the worried, haggard man who was dealing with the distresses in his family was much stronger with his emotions than he let on.

"I asked her many times, as a free woman she thought that legal marriage was irrelevant and unnecessary, she thought that what was inside mattered the most, as a writer she was convinced her writer's imagination could not thrive under matrimony.  "

Blake kept quiet, hoping his stance would urge the man to continue, "Do you fear Rosalie will have a similar attitude?"

"I am unsure, my boy, for as you may suspect I have been detached from Rosalie's these last years and I do not know my daughter well enough, she grew up with her mother as a companion and equal, this idea could have very easily been inherited."

Blake had never expected this obstacle, he dug deep at his memories and conversations with Rosalie. The image soon crystallised that they had barely touched on the subject of marriage and long life commitment. What had seemed natural to him might not be for her? When they had their picnic he remembered the way she had been on thin ice. He had assumed It was to do with his teasing approach but there seemed to be so much he didn't know.

Sir Michael watched the young man and realised that his words were causing a lot of uncertainty and worry in a nephew that was always confident. It was interesting to see this vulnerability, an emotion Blake had pushed away after his mother's death.

"Try to establish if you are both on the same level and expect the same things out of this relationship you have developed,"

Blake did not want to thank the man despite his understanding approach, he felt more uncertain than before. He left the office unaware of the storm brewing in the library and the storm brewing in his relationship.