An Improper Courtship

Insanity

Edited

Honey spotted Rosalie walking across the corridor with a smile, it made her smile. She hadn't seen her half-sister smile like that, she'd seem preoccupied off late, sometimes exhausted.

"It's so lovely to see you so happy, is there a particular reason?" Honey asked curiously.

"I think it might have to do with meeting your cousin, he's delightful."

"Blake? But you've met him days ago." Honey laughed, knitting her eyebrows.

"No, James." Rosalie's smile widened. Honey's dropped. Her heart lodged itself in her throat. Rosalie noticed the change in Honey's aura, a draining of colour.

"Are you feeling okay, Honey?" Rosalie hesitated in reaching for Honey's forearm. Honey's hand slowly rose to cover her mouth, tears prickling her eyes.

"Honey," Rosalie's concerned whisper pierced into Honey's surging mind, thousands of thoughts coalesced. She knew the day would come where they would meet again but she just hadn't expected it to happen now? Why now?

"I'm okay," she spluttered, gingerly backing away. Her movements were slow and Rosalie debated following her, she could have easily caught up to offer some comfort, but Honey rose her hands in defence and ran off.

Her breaths came out ragged, her heart pounded, tears fell involuntarily, she entered her bedroom. Closing the door she used the door handle as support. Her knees felt weak, gravity pulled them down and she fell to the ground, her arms raised still holding the doorknob. Sobs racked her body, her chest heaving as she tried to not make a sound and her body protested.

The last time they had been together was November. She hadn't understood their last weeks together, she knew he was suffering but there had never been words to explain. His reactions to her had been hot and cold, he would hold her in his arms one night and not acknowledge her presence the next day. She had no one to turn to, no one but Blake knew of their relationship and he had been recovering. Honey was left to beg for James' attention. At the time it hadn't felt like begging but after his departure, she over thought everything. During their last weeks together she would catch his empty eyes, she'd try to smile, whisper a joke for old time's sake but James' energy was gone. Their last night together had been filled with dashed hope.

Honey had hesitated in entering his bedroom, all the previous nights she'd been silent, kissed his cheeks and laid beside him as they fell asleep in syncopated breathing. Each night she hoped there would finally be words, explanations to his behaviour. She willed the silence to be an invitation for closure. She slipped herself under the duvets, her feet coming to rest by his calves. She turned her doe-like eyes to James, who was staring at the ceiling, her hand found his chest and she placed it on top of his heart.

"When will you talk to me?" she whispered, focusing her eyes on his lips. James' jaw tightened. He took hold of Honey's hand, stroked it tenderly then quickly moved it away. Hot and cold. Honey sat up.

"What have I done to you?" she whispered harshly. James' gaze didn't budge from that spot in the ceiling.

"I speak to you," he replied matter of factly.

"Not like we used to, I don't recognise you anymore James,"

"Maybe..." James stopped, looked at Honey right into her soul

"Maybe what,"

"It doesn't matter,"

Honey sighed desperately, on her knees kneeling beside him" It matters to me!", she pounded her chest. James scanned her and covered his face in pain. He was pulling away again, Honey craving contact, crawled over his body, her thighs on either side of his body, hands caging both sides of his face. Maybe he would return back to her. Her soft fingertips came into contact with the stubble he had not shaven for days. James tried to move his eyes away from the hovering Honey, but her eyes persisted in holding their gaze. He couldn't move with Honey keeping him in place, she leaned down, her lips brushing his.

"I miss you," Honey almost cried. His grip on her arms tightened around her. Her heart yearned for these little attentions that made her feel seen and warm, her ears longed for one of his ridiculous jokes that she couldn't help but giggle at. James groaned, it was a mixture of pain, desire and anger.

"Honey, you should go." He said turning his head over to avoid her desperately loving but pitiful gaze. Intimately pressed against him Honey had bit back a cry and rolled off him, not knowing that this would have been the last time they would have been together.

Tears escaped Honey's eyes at a furious pace. Their breakup had made no sense. That evening, the dinner table had two empty seats. Honey and Alyssa called for dinner alone in their rooms.