Luke and Michael both stand awkwardly as Luke finally decides to speak.
"Bella can I like- can I just talk to you for a second?" Luke asks me as he fixes his beanie, wrapping it over his ears and tucking in his hair in it too. I stand up quietly as I pass by Michael not making eye contact as he stares at the ground making his way over to Calum.
Luke guides me into the hall; him trying to close the door that he broke. Him struggling as the door wouldn't close he groans and leads me further down into the hall.
We make are way down passing door by door as he speaks up slowing down his pace. "Why'd you leave me?" he asks rubbing his face with the palms of his hands as he looks at me with red eyes.
I look into those eyes. Luke's blue eyes. The one's I fell in love with. The one's that sends me butterflies. No. It's all the same. Everything changes.
"Luke." I finally say with my voice cracking. "Did you ever love me?" I ask him with a slight sad smile on my face.
He looks at me with a disappointed look as if he did not believe what just came out of my mouth.
"I 'ever'? Fucking hell Bella. I love you. I love you alright? I've loved you ever since the day I told you. Where you cried after your dad had hit you and you ran to my house." He says raising his arms "I loved you in that moment because-you were there. With me." He pauses pulling the strings on his hoodie.
"I never thought in my life I'd actually love someone. Hell, I never even fucking thought I could even have someone like you. You were there on my bed and your clothes were soaked from running in the rain. You sat there and just spilled; everything. The way you told me; you-you were holding back like you weren't supposed to even talk. But you did." He takes off his beanie running his fingers through his hair.
"I took the past three months trying to figure you out. And, that night...at your most vulnerable state you did. And you trusted me with your secrets." He puts his beanie back on and looks me in the eyes "It's stupid as fuck I know but" He looks away staring at the wall beside me. "But I knew, in that moment; where you looked into my eyes with your broken ones; that's when I realized. I was completely in love with you."
He stops looking down at the ground sadly smiling to himself. This takes me quite aback as Luke wasn't the type to talk about his feelings let alone telling me he loved me. After all these months, of hurting myself and everyone else; was I completely blinded by the fact that I was letting my hurt take the best of me?
I don't know what to say. I look at him who's still looking down at his shoes with a sad smile plastered on his face. He reaches in his hoodie pocket taking out a little box with a note attached to it and puts it into my shaking hands.
"In the darkest of fucking times Bella, just promise me; you won't lose your way?" He asks me with sad but yet hopeful eyes. I don't know what the blonde haired boy in front of me is saying; but I slowly nod my head as his lips press against my forehead and walks down the hall not ever looking back at me; the broken girl whom is lying on the floor, aching for her lover.
-
I open up the letter to which Luke has putt on top of the paper brown wrapped box and set it next to me as I slowly read the letter.
Hey Bella,
You're either reading this letter or it's now lying in the garbage can where all the other trash is; but anyways. I'd like you to know now that I'm going for a while, and I think it's better for you and me, too. And yeah, I can get what you're probably thinking 'another fucking goodbye' but this isn't goodbye, no, goodbye's are ever for good for we'll see each other soon. If it'll be in an hour or two years, I know I'll see you again.
I also sorta just made you a little something-again. I want you to know that I'm always here, even when you think you hate me, or never want to see me again but Bella? As I said the past 8 times already I'm here-well the gift's here but anyways.
See you soon.
Luke.
P.S listen to it at least one time
Yeah, okay. Bye.
I wipe the tears that have fallen in my eyes hundreds of times before because of this boy. I take the box beside me and slowly rip the paper open. I open the cardboard box which was filled with tissue paper.
And inside was another '94 mixtape.
But this mixtape was different, for it had more songs-
And oh so many memories.
***
PLEASE CHECK ON THIS DAILY FOR I WILL BE ADDING ALOT OF THINGS ON THIS CHAPTER. I WILL BE TELLING YOU WHEN I HAVE ADDED IT THROUGH MY STATUSES.
THIS IS SO LATE OH MY GOSH.
SORRY AT THE DEEPEST PART OF MY INSIDE LEFT BOOB [my heart]
I AM CRYING 12K? THANK YOU ALL ILYSM
there's been a lot going on in my life i'm sorry.
MY FAMILY WANTS ME TO STOP WRITING. THATS WHY I HAVENT BEEN POSTING. THEY THINK ITS A WASTE OF TIME AND NO ONE READS THIS. I have been so sad and like depressed.
so yeah guys. it's really hard writing with like everyone you thought supported you just wanted to crush your dreams so.
I love you all and I promise you.
I wont ever stop writing.
I'll get them up as soon as I can THIS WEEK.
and to those confused.
please comment, and i'll 'GUIDE YOU THROUGH DA LIGHT"
♥
Track thirteen: clear
Start from the beginning
