A Promise From My Heart

40.

My hand waited for a brief moment on the door handle. Damn! Was I irrational staying out until this late just for something she does not know about? I won't fault her if she's livid. I left since past six and it's nearly nine o'clock. Do I even have a reasonable explanation?

I went nowhere. I was in the mosque until after Ishai after which I left for the game centre to watch a football match. The door receded as soon as I turned the knob. Holding my breath, my heart stuttering, I stepped into the house with a mumble of my greetings.

She answered from where she sat on the chair directly facing the door. Calm eyes sought mine across the room. They asked questions that never left her lips nevertheless had no judgement in them. Maybe I had seen a flash of understanding in them.

No evidence of annoyance was in her body language. She appeared relaxed and alright with everything. But is she? Hopefully she might be. My feet kissed the cold floor as I walked the distance between us.

The champagne gold nightie she had on fitted everywhere highlighting the minute increase of her stomach. A strap had fallen down a shoulder, peeling off her left breast to expose its added growth. The satin was scandalous, camouflaging little and disclosing a lot of skin. Despite the gloominess in me, the weight I felt emotionally, she still had an effect on me that heated me up. Did her skin seem to radiate and appear more flawless?

"I have been waiting." Her lips curved into a gentle smile.

There was more to those words. In them were silent demands. Where have I been? What have I been doing? What's wrong?

My shoulders sagged, head bowed subtly. "Sorry for keeping you waiting."

I halted before her, hovering over her sitting form. She lifted her head to gaze at me. Her eyes hunted mine that had sheathed a mask over the turmoil that swam in them in search of an answer I would never give away.

"Ayanfe mi." Her articulation was temperate, entreating and seeking. A silent plea for me to open up. It shook me to the core of my chest and nearly brought down the barricades I had fostered around me.

My hand picked hers from her lap after that directed it to my lips. "Ododo mi, I am fine." My lips descended upon her knuckles. It lingered.

I needed her to understand. Time will tell. I would open up to her. For now, all I wanted was distance.

"Dinner is on the dining table."

"Thank you." I kissed her head then slid away to where my food was.

A conversation was the last thing I wanted. She noticed and respected it. Amatullah had not come to join me on the dining table. For that, I was grateful. The space she gave was more appreciated. It gave me time to gather my thoughts, pack my emotions and get a hold of them. It's the past. It should not disrupt my present and future.

After eating, I packed my plates to the kitchen. Her light titter journeyed across the house to where I washed. My hand tarried beneath the rushing water as I listened to her laughter draw on. It pleased my sense of hearing and washed me with warmth. Wanting to know the cause of her laughter had me rushing through the chore.

"Sa'ad is taking a girl home to introduce to mummy." She said as soon as she looked up at the sound of my approaching footstep.

"He's getting married?" It was more of a question. She moved to a side to create space for me to sit.

"Maybe but he seem serious. This would be the first time he's bringing someone home."

I threw a hand over the head rest, set my body into a comfortable position and lifted a leg off the ground to bend under the other thigh. "Do you know her?"