Cowboy Up

2

These past three day's have been hell. Loosing my grandpa one day then burring him the next day. I have to go over the head stone that him and grandma now share. It comes up off the ground a little and it's a pretty black granite that sparkles. The names Rosa and Augustine Hernandez engraved in the stone. Theres a picture of them both when they first got married as well. It's beautiful. 

At the funeral only close friends and a few family members came. My mother didn't come as well as her other five daughters. All claiming they were too busy to come, to post pone it. How could you do that? Even if I could, I wouldn't. My mothers sister's and brothers came and their spouses but she didn't. My shoulder to cry on was my aunt's son. He's my age, being born in the same year and month. I would have had my husband but he left me. Well more like I left him. 

He was cheating on me. We were engaged for a month and I found him sleeping with a girl. Well more that one girl apparently. I had my suspicious but I didn't want to believe them. We had been together for five years and I had grown to love him but on our anniversary I found him in our bed with another girl. While he was in bed with her he looked at me while he finished with her. He cleaned up and that's the night I left him. He begged and pleaded that I stay but I'm not about sharing or cheating. I packed up and left. Before leaving he told me to take his beat up ratty old car. I just dealt with it and left. That was the last time I saw my ex fiancé. 

At least that is until grandpa died. He came to me before the funeral started and asked me back. He came back at my weakest time to get me back. In hopes that I will be running back to him. To seek comfort in his arms. I turned him down and just told him to enjoy his time with out me. He was so mad I was scared and he came at me grabbing my arms and squeezing the life out of my arms. I cried to him and told him to stop but he just yelled in my face telling me that I will never be happy without him. Will never find someone like him, good for me. I pushed him off finally and slapped him. What shocked me was when he slapped back. Never had he hit me before. After that he put his hand around my throat and closed off my air. His last words were 'I'll be back for you darling.' With that he let go and I coughed breathing in as much air as I needed. He leaned down and kissed my head and lips as he held my head still. I cried so much harder and then he left. I stood up crying and went to my family for support not telling them much about what happened in the room.

The family was a little disappointed that Jared my aunt's son was my rock at grandpas funeral. I don't see why but I just ignored them. I'm guessing they all wanted Alex my ex to be here with me. That we would be together again, but we're not. Jared was soft and gentle with me and just held me while I cried my eyes out. I would say sorry and he just told me it was okay. That's how the rest of everything went. Crying and figuring out what to do with out my dad.

'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'

All packed up from my lonely little house I go to the beat up old car. I had packed up everything in the last three days. I sold my little house to a starting couple. They seemed nice and like the would take care of my beloved home. Well not anymore since I'm moving down to Texas with grandpas friend. I called him and asked him if it was still okay for me to go down and he said hell yes. I chuckled at his response and he just told me my work would be a house wife. Cooking for some people, and cleaning. I would get paid for doing these things as well. I would work five days a week on week days. Saturday and Sunday I had to myself. I thanked the old man and told him I would be there in a few hours or a day. 

Looking back at the home I cry a little and go up and kiss the door goodbye. I put my hand on the pavement where my hand and grandpas hand are and just keep it there until I feel like it's time to go. 

'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'~'

Six hours on the road and I am tired. I would just stop get gas, and an energy drink and go on my way to continue my journey. I had four more hours until I get to my new home. 

I didn't want to call anything else a home without dad here but it's what he would've wanted. He would have wanted me to come down here and move on, to be happy and live my life. Thinking about him would result in me crying but I didn't care. I missed him and I didn't care if anyone looked at me funny on the highway. I was a sad girl on a mission to get to her new home. To start anew.