Existent

Reason

My world slurred, faded at the edges

As I collapsed against the milky warm blanket,

that would soon absorb my blood

his sweat, drive to

Undo me, like a

piece of fabric

tugging, softly at first

at my threads, and then

when there was no result

tearing through my sheets

ruthlessly, hand over mouth

screaming bitter words that would 

go unnoticed, unrehearsed as

they only existed inside my mouth 

courage was not one of them,

so they would never escape the barriers

that he created, behind my lips

sealed

my tongue, tied

my hair, knotted into my 

dark past, 

My, Oh maybe that's why she doesn't like men

My, Oh perhaps that's why she's a lesbian now

My, let me save you

but oh please do not consider

that maybe my dark past

had nothing to with 

my taste in women and

just my being that

was torn but not,

not shattered.

Oh No, 

I do not give you such power.