The Neurologist's Love

C H A P T E R 6

I could feel cold air burning against my skin, causing my hands to start shaking and my body start to shiver. I could have killed the patient, she could have died and everyone trust me for it. Even though Dr. Hamza warned everyone, my mind did not relax. I could feel my adrenalin rushing everywhere. I needed to sit, I found a bench right across the OR, sitting down I buried my face into my hands.

I was so scared.

Scared because I almost killed a young girl.

The world inside me sunk, and it felt as if my soul was melting. That is how terrified I was.

"We can't control what will happen, there is only so much we can do" my head jolts up to face the voice. It was Dr. Hamza standing at a distance, with files in his hands. "It wasn't you fault, Alhamdulilah, you should be thankful. It was someone elses, they were the ones who were careless. Stuff will happen like this, but we – as surgeons need to stay strong"

I agreed with what he said. I was strong in terms of facing with horrifying patients, and families – also with the people who probably hated the guts out of me. It was my first surgery – first neuro surgery which went horrible. "Is she alive?" my voice came out quite.

"Well, they are working on her heart, she actually had a stroke, and it happens in surgery when a patient is under stress, however in my calculations she'll be up in gippy"

'In my calculating... she'll be up in a gippy' did he literally say that? I couldn't help it but burst out in laughter. Covering my mouth, feeling ashamed I quickly apologized gulped my laughter back in.

"So what I'm old schooled" he shrugged, rubbing the back of his neck. "It's Asr. I'll page you when needed"

Mentally face palming myself, because I just laughed at my boss – what a great way for the day to continue right. I made my way out of the OR hall and into the main floor.

"Aiyla! Aiyla!"

That voice brought a smile to my face, to my distant Zayna ran towards me giving me a big hug, "guess what! Guess what!" she squealed jumping up and down.

"What! What!" I mimicked back at her.

"I just attended a pediatric surgery, where the babies had their organs inside out" Her words shot me right into my acidity level causing me to almost puke. Scrunching my nose, I shook my head and took her towards our lounge.

"And guess what happened with me!"

"What?!"

"I" I sat down on the sofa, staring up at the ceiling. "I had my first ever neuro surgery, clipping an aneurysm, and... guess what... astaghfurillah, I almost killed the girl" My eyes hover over to Zayna who looked at me confused, as if I was almost lying. "Okay... maybe not me, but, someone pushed me and yeah I hit the wrong vessel"

"Yaar, that was somebody else not you!"

"I know..."

"So quite whining like a baby, and let's go pray"

"Don't need to" I rolled my eyes, as pain emerged near my bladder to my stomach – slowly washing over my thighs. Great speak of the devil, and the pain decided to appear now. How wonderful. "You should go, I'll meet you at the cafeteria?" my voice winced out in pain, struggling to sit up.

Zayna agreed and left me alone with the pain. God I hate their cramps so much, it hurts me like bullets stabbing into my thighs and back. Did you realize girls go through so damn much, yet we are so unappreciated by ungrateful people out there, speaking of people – I mean men.