Her Candor [1] //Divergent// Eric Coulter

Nessa Hayes

SIX ✧

The door opened again, and the crowd of initiates came through, so I quickly re-joined then before my absence was noted. Ronnie passed me a bag of chocolate chips and I put them in the pocket of my leggings.
Four showed us the stance to hold the gun as Eric watched from the shadows, his arms crossed and blue eyes sharp – like normal.
"Don't think of it as a gun, think of this and an extension to your arm." Four shot three times and each one was a kill shot, one to the heart and two to the head.

We went to our stations and I weighed the gun in my hand before lifting it up.
I took a few shots, each one missing the inner circles by a good few centimetres, pursing my lips in annoyance, I cracked my neck.
"You're doing it wrong," Eric told me.
I nodded," I gathered that much on my own."
He turned my head and put my glasses on my head, kicked my feet a little and turned my hips to the side. Putting his hands over mine, I looked back at him with confusion – blinking a little too much as my eyes refocused.
"Fire," his breath tickled my ear, but I did what I was told, and I fired the gun by pulling the trigger.

The bullet found it's marked in the inner circle, I was so happy that it happened I never noticed that Eric had left.
Ronnie and Angel were smirking at me, Harry just looked as if he knew something I didn't me.
"What?" I asked them
They shuck their heads, "Nothing."

I rolled my eyes at them; they had been doing that a lot lately. Giving me knowing looks like they know something that their Erudite brains picked up that mine did not. Normally it wasn't so obvious but every time Eric looked at me at dinner or did something in training, they would look at me then smile. Just smile and it was beyond confusing.
I stayed in the stance Eric put me in, my body turned to my dominant side with the handgun out in front of me so I could look down the barrel. My eye that is short-sighted was closed, giving me a long-distance view.
Shot after shot was getting closer the middle but it wasn't close enough.
It was like it was mocking me on how close I was getting but I never seemed to hit my target.
I put my glasses back on to my nose, moving the bottom of my braids off my shoulder and took a deep breath.

"That's enough!" Eric yelled," get ready for dinner, I can't stand how you're all failing."
Angel sighed as she picked up her gun and put it back in the box, "Well that was a nightmare, I couldn't even hit the target – I did it once and that was it."
Ronnie hummed," well we all can't get one on one advice like little Nessie here."
"Oh shut up." I rolled my eyes," he was only helping."
Harry hmm," 'Helping' is that what the kids call it these days or is subtle flirting?"
"I'm going to go with helping." I nodded.
The others laughed as they placed their boxes on the shelf," we'll get a table Nessa!"
I packed up and walked out of the room and as soon as the door closed, I was pinned to the wall by my neck cutting off the oxygen to my lungs.
"If you think you can beat me, you have another thing coming to you, Nessa." He snarled in my ear.
I knew it was a 'he' as now deep his voice was, it wasn't smooth or warm it was rough and cold. He punched me in the gut and dropped me on the ground leaving me wheezing for breath.

Zipping my hoodie up to my neck, I joined Ronnie for Dinner.
"What's up with you?" Ronnie asked handing me the pizza slices she got me.
"Nothing" I wheezed.
Harry looked up at me," what happened to your voice?"
"Dust." I lied badly, it wasn't my first time lying to someone's face; that was awful.
Angel creased her eyebrows, "Dust? That's the best you've got?"
I stuck my tongue out at her and took a drink of coffee.
"That's not childish at all." Harry joked.
For the rest of dinner, I didn't say a word, I was afraid my voice would put a stop in my lie if I could even call it that. I decided to go for a walk as all the loudness was causing me to get a headache. Wondering around the compound, I got some strange looks from people due to the direction I was going in.

After a few minutes of walking aimlessly, I found myself at the chasm. With my legs hanging off the side I took a deep breath. The roar of the water made it so that I couldn't think, I loved it here but at what risk?
I am not the weakest but I'm not the strongest either, the strongest was Oliver because of his height and anger. I was only 5"3 with a curvy build and glasses, if I wanted to stand even a decent chance, I had to be quick and merciless. I'm quick and can easily take the first punch to the gut, but I have trouble standing on a snail without feeling guilty how do I punch someone into submission?
I guess I'll just have to work it out when I get there, that always works - face the problem when you get to it because worrying about it only makes it worse.
"Get away from the edge!" Eric yelled from behind me making me jump," were you trying to kill yourself?"
"No I was just sitting," I told him," But you might have jump scared me over the edge." 
He bent down to my level and got right in my face, fire burning behind his eyes.
"Find somewhere else to 'just sit'" he snarled then looked down and ripped my locket from my neck," why do you have this?"
"Because I was wearing for the ceremony so I kept it," I told him shakily, I don't know why I found him so scary, but I did.
"You are weak, vulnerable and defenceless. Keep it, just stay away from the edge, the paperwork would be a mess." He snarled dropping it into the palm of my hand.

He walked away leaving me near the chasm quite confused about why it affected him so much to shout at me. He had hit every insecurity I had ever had, and in one fell swoop, he just brought them all back. I shuck my head and stood up, brushing my trouser off. I was better than this and I wasn't about to let's a cruel heartless man ruin that.

I made my way back to the dorms and slipped into some legging took a shower with Ronnie and Angel holding up two towels around me. When I finished my shower, I changed into a pair of legging and a baggy t-shirt before I did the same for Ronnie and then Angel. The three of us had a system and it worked. If we could, I would love to live with them after initiation if we were aloud; with proper beds and a shower with a door or a bath I could fill with bubbles.

The three of us had sat around Angel's bed, our toe and fingernails had been painted in a makeshift pamper afternoon. With a green face mask on, Harry joined us from his outing.
"What is that?" I asked pointing to the black swirl peeking out behind his jumper.
He smirked sitting down next to me," a tattoo."
"A tattoo!" Ronnie exclaimed," I wanted us to get one together you know as a mark of something. As the point of having a tattoo mean something."
"Your Erudite is showing honey." I pointed out having a sip of my tea.
She rolled her eyes," thank you for being so honest with me."
Harry sighed," How about after stage one, we go out to get a tattoo and what not to celebrate before visiting day?."
"Don't remind me about visiting day!" I groaned falling back onto the pillow.
Ronnie laughed," what's wrong with visiting day, it's the one day where we can rub it in all their faces that we moved on and we don't need them anymore."
Angel laughed, "It's her birthday."
"Your birthday!" Ronnie exclaimed," Why didn't you tell us? We could get you a cake and gifts! Maybe a puppy!"
"I don't like celebrating my birthday because my family goes on and on and I'm not a fan of the women my dad is kind of now married to and my brother and I haven't seen common ground since we were six. My mum would always bake this cake, she always iced my age in gold and always brought these large white and gold balloons with my name on them. Then today Eric had a huge go at me, said something about how I'm not cut out to be here."
Ronnie put an arm over my shoulders," I'm sure we can find you a balloon Nessa, they can't be that uncommon, Eric is a bastard who needs to stop wearing his ass as a hat. So, back to tomorrow you are going to take all this inner anger out of the dick your fighting tomorrow unless it's me then please don't aim for the face, you will prove him wrong when you least expect it."
"You're so young!" Harry gasped," you'll be sixteen like the rest of us now, aww you're a baby."
"Seventeen." I coughed.
Ronnie scrunched her eyebrows," what?"
"I'll be seventeen." I told them," you choose at sixteen that's why I didn't choose last year. I am probably the oldest one here."
"Ya old!" Harry yelled, pointing at me," We have to respect our elders."
I laughed and threw the pillow I was leaning on at his face," shut up Nose."
He faked being shot as he fell into his bed," your word harm me, Hayes, you think so low of me what's wrong with you."
"A lot."
Ronnie looked at my phone and gasped at the time," we need to sleep if we are going to fight tomorrow."
"Gosh, I love sleep." I sighed in happiness, walking to the bathroom to wash the face mask off" it's such a safe place to be, sleep."
"Then shut up and do it," Harry yelled throwing the pillow at me from his place on the bed.

I stuck my tongue out, walking back to my bunk feeling oddly refreshed. Falling back on to my bed and snuggling down with the blankets stopping at my shoulders keeping the cold off.