Barry Allen Imagines

27;

"Barry, why are you acting like this?" You huffed, tossing your purse onto the desk chair in his lab.
He refused to meet your eyes, choosing rather to focus on his current task at hand.
You could vividly remember all the laughs you two shared in his lab, all the giggling kisses or playful glares. But all of that was now a distant memory that seemed to be too good to be true.
You hadn't had a true conversation with your boyfriend–or now ex-boyfriend, who knows–for almost 3 months now and you were beginning to grow desperate. You missed how things used to be before that wormhole opened up over Central City. Nothing seemed to be the same. It wasn't the same carefree city it was before, at least not within team flash. Not anymore.
You knew that something was wrong. Giving him some distance should have been good for him but you were beginning to believe it was only pushing him further away from you. If you gave him anymore time then it was likely that he'd never find his way back to you. "Barry, this isn't good for anyone."
He began calculating something, not even bothering to glance back at you. "I'm only doing what's right, y/n." He was so gruff now. So much had changed within those few months but they've made the world of a difference.
You couldn't take being shut out anymore. You needed him in more ways than one. "You're carrying such a heavy burden on your shoulders, Bare. You've got to let me in. I can help you–I want to help you!" You sighed, deciding that this visit was pointless since you weren't getting through to him. He no longer seemed like the caring boy who you'd do anything for but would always put others before himself. And you weren't getting anywhere with this visit. You may as well just let this go since he didn't appear to even want to have you in the same room as him anymore.
You leaned over and picked your purse back up, smiling sadly at him in hopes that he would suddenly realize that you were right and apologizing while he wrapped you up in a tight, comforting hug. "I just wish you'd let me help you, Bare. I wish I could tell you everything that you've missed out on while you've isolated yourself. Team Flash seems to have dissipated without you, Barry. We can't be Team Flash without the man himself. All of our friends want to help you but you won't let them. You won't even let me..." Pausing for another moment, you still received no acknowledgement from him. This was just a stupid idea. You had come here hoping for a logical answer about why Barry went AWOL but that was a petty hope. You pushed the door open, glancing sadly back at him before you finally accepted his new behavior. This would have to be the new normal now.
And you were gone. Most likely for good. His heart felt like it was shattering for so many different reasons. Regret, sadness, anger, pain. He never wanted anyone to get hurt because he wanted "to play hero" but now there were people dead because of him. So many people who he couldn't manage to save from a metahuman or his very own friends who sacrificed their lives for Barry's own mission. And he'd have to live with that for the rest of his life. But he could still prevent it from happening again. His gaze shifted back to the door. "I can't risk anyone else's life anymore when I should've been the one to die for my mistakes that night..."