Limerence | A James & Lily Story

Epilogue

November 4, 1978

     My stomach is going to tie itself into such a complicated knot, I'm not sure it will ever come undone; honestly, this may be a permanent adjustment. My skin is sleek with sweat, and my lungs can't seem to take in enough oxygen to satisfy their needs. I'm scared out of my mind. I'm going to vomit. I am going to ask Lily Evans to marry me.

     I can't understand why I am so terrified because we've discussed the prospect of getting married. We love each other, and yeah, we're young but a war is going on and we have to make every moment count. I don't want to spend any more time not married to her. She's the one for me, so why shouldn't we get married right now?

     The small box in my back pocket feels as if it is on fire. I can't think about anything else except Lily saying no. I've taken rejection a lot in my nineteen, almost twenty, years, but that would destroy me in way I don't think I could ever come back from. 

     "James," a soft voice says. "Come back to me." 

     I look over to meet Lily's green eyes, and she smiles at me and lets out a small laugh. She shakes her head with a roll of her eyes. "What were you thinking so hard about? You look as if you're going to jump right out of your skin, love."

    I shake my head and force out a gruff laugh. "Just life, I guess."

    She wraps an arm around my waist as we continue walking down the street. "Are you worried?"

     I press a kiss to the top of her head. "Who isn't?"

     "Please, stop," she tugs on my hand, pulling me to look at her. We stop in front of the small house I purchased in Godric's Hollow for myself, until Lily can join me. "Are you okay?"

     I take her head in between my hands, smiling at her, seeing the worry swimming in her eyes. I press my lips to hers trying to put into it what I cannot put into words. I pull away, and she stares at me unconvinced. 

     "Let's go inside, yeah?" I suggest, grabbing her hand and pulling her towards the front door.

     She follows as I walk to the front porch. My stomach twists as I open the door, pulling her inside with me into to the darkness. With a flick of my wand, dozens of candles within the room are lit.

      Lily walks forward, the illumination of the light bouncing off her fiery hair. She takes a deep breath as she walks towards the center. I drop to my knee quickly while she has her back turned to me and fumble for the box in my back pocket. I open the lid and wait  for her to turn back to me. When she does, her eyes land on me, and she smiles. Her eyes shine with fresh tears as she stares on, and a nervous laugh leaves her lips.

     I clear my throat. "Lily, I have been in love with you since I was eleven years old. I know feelings weren't mutual, and that I pushed your buttons on a daily basis. I'm sorry about that, but little me didn't know how to handle those emotions. And I'm sorry I was too dense in seventh year at first to realize you liked me too, but I'm kind of glad it was hard to get. Because it has made me appreciate every second that I have spent with you. I am so in love with you; it's ridiculous really. I can't imagine loving anyone more because I don't know how my heart could contain it. But I love you, and I promise to love you for the rest of our lives. So, will you, Lily Marie Evans, do me the honor of letting me push your buttons for the rest of your life and marry me?"

      Tears streamed down her face as she whispered, "Yes."

December 15, 1979     

     Knock! Knock! The sounds of my knuckles connecting with the wooden door echo throughout our bedroom. "Lil, you okay?"

     Silence is the answer to my question. I stare at the far wall of our room, waiting for some kind of response, but it doesn't come. "Lily, you have to the count of five to open this door before I force my way in there."