Limerence | A James & Lily Story

Deja Vu

     "Happy birthday," Lily smiles at me, as she swings our clasped hands between the two of us as we walk along the corridors. I smile back at her, feeling the familiar smolder of happiness in my chest. 

     Lily had taken me to the kitchens to bring my birthday to a close. It had been the last place I could imagine her wanting to go today.

      Lily pushes a thick, chocolate cake towards me. At a closer glance, I can read "Happy Birthday James" written across the top in red icing, and a intricately decorated golden snitch makes itself visible on the side of the dessert. 

     For some odd reason, the sight of the cake makes my throat close up, and I could really use a glass of water right now. I force the corners of my mouth to go up, as my knee bounces agitatedly against the bench.

     Being here- in the kitchens- on this night, makes my gut turn. The last time we were in this room together, it was her birthday. It was the night we walked back to find McGonagall waiting to tell Lily the news that would change her life forever. Being in here on my birthday sets my teeth on edge.

    "Do you not like it?" Lily asks quietly. I shift my gaze to her and feel a lurch in my stomach at the masked hurt buried in the depths of her emerald eyes.

     "No, of course, I do, Lils," I reply quickly. "It's not that at all."

     "Then, what is it?" she asks, impatiently pushing her hair away from her eyes.

     "I didn't think you would want to come back here, considering last time..." I let my voice trail off and move my field of vision to the ceiling.

     "James, I'm fine really," she says carefully, placing a soft hand against my cheek. "I'm better now. I mean, I'll always be a little sad and some days are harder than others, but it has been two months. I'm fine, okay? Let's celebrate your birthday."

     I smile at her. "Okay," I reply.

     "It's been a good day," I declare as we round the corner, Gryffindor tower now in sight. I pull Lily to my side, pressing a kiss to the top of her head. "Thank you for that."

     "Don't get used to the special treatment, Potter," she winks.

     I laugh as she says the password allowing us access to the common room. When we step inside, the scene before us makes my blood run cold. Professor McGonagall sits stiffly surrounded by Marlene, Sirius, Remus, and Peter.

     Lily stiffens beside me. My mind races at a million miles per hour, going back to the night of another birthday that ended much like this. 

     "Professor Dumbledore needs to see all of you," McGonagall says standing.

     I can feel the shaking beginning Lily's arms, and all I can think to do is put my arms around her. "This won't be like last time," I whisper, even though I know I have no right to make that promise.

      Without another word, our professor walks to the exit and leaves us with nothing to do by follow her. Our friends file out first as Lily stares at the far wall, and I can all but see the places her mind is going. I can see it in her eyes.

     I tighten my grip on her shoulders, and slightly nudge her towards the portrait hole. "Lily, we have to go. You have to walk, Lils."

     She obeys silently and begins to walk without a second glance backward. I follow quickly, pulling her back to my side, wanting nothing more than to make her feel protected. Sirius throws me glances as we make our way to the headmaster's office; Peter appears to be twitching nervously, as he fidgets with the sleeve of his shirt; Remus' jaw is jumping as he grinds his teeth in his nervous habit; Marlene keeps her eyes on Lily, nervously scanning her best friend's features.

     Professor Dumbledore is waiting patiently at his desk when we all enter. I still have my arm around Lily; she is practically cowering away from the news she knows is coming. My muscles jump with restlessness because every instinct in my body is telling me to take Lily and run.

     The ominous feeling in the room dies down a little, when I realize Dumbledore is smiling at us. Two men stand behind him. Alastor Moody stands behind Dumbledore with his usual frown and glares at all of us as we enter. The other man looks younger than Moody and more friendly. He has long, flowing brown hair with big brown eyes; He smiles at us as we enter.

     There are six chairs in front of Dumbledore's desk. He gestures for us to sit; we all do so without uttering a word. The atmosphere has quickly changed from bleakness to confusion. 

     "Hello," Dumbledore greets us warmly. "I'm glad you all could finally make it. This is Alastor Moody, I believe you all have met," he gestures to the left. "And this is Edgar Bones," he gestures to the right. "They are both aurors for the Ministry of Magic, and they are members of the Order of the Phoenix. You are all familiar with the Order as they rescued you six a few months ago."

     We all nod, shuddering at the memory. "Now, you are all mere months from graduating and being out in the real world. I wanted you all to know, you're invited to join the Order. It is a dangerous job. Nobody is promised complete safety or even to live. You are not permitted to tell anyone you are in the Order. You will fight, so if fighting is not for you, I do not recommend membership."

     I can't help the sharp intake of breath, that sucks through my teeth. I sit up straighter as Lily gives me a sideways glance. Does she not understand? We're being asked to join the Order? The fucking Order!

     Dumbledore continues, "You can think about it, or you may accept the offer now if you would like."

     "I accept," the words leave my lips before anyone has a chance to take a breath.

     Dumbledore chuckles at my quick response "Alright, anyone else?"

     "I accept," Lily answers. I see the steely expression and the cold features of her face. When Voldemort killed Lily's person, he took a piece of her and twisted and darkened it, never to be the same again. I recognized the depthless look in her eyes- revenge.

     Remus clears his throat. "Me too."

     "Me too," Marlene grins, a knowing gleam in her eyes. I look down, hiding a smile of my own. There was no way any McKinnon would ever back down from a fight.

     "I accept," Peter squeaks nervously.

     All of our eyes shift to Sirius; His eyes have a faraway look in them. A funny feeling settles in my gut. Something is wrong. Sirius has talked about fighting Voldemort for some time now, but the look on his face is screaming that something is wrong.

     "Mr. Black?" Dumbledore prods.

     He looks over at the call of his name. There's a dark haze in his eyes keeping him guarded from the rest of us, even from me. "Do you accept?" Dumbledore asks.

     Sirius doesn't answer verbally, instead he nods curtly and looks out the window. "Well," Dumbledore smiles at all of us. "Congratulations, you six. You are all officially members of the Order of the Phoenix. You'll start after graduation."

     We all grin at one another, except for Sirius who continues to glare out the window. "Off to bed now," Dumbledore smiles at us, amusement brewing in his blue eyes.

     We rise from our chairs, triumphant in the light of new beginnings, but the familiar melancholy seeps into my system before I even have time to enjoy this happy moment. I stare at Sirius and the lines set deep into his face that no eighteen-year-old should posses. I watch as he puckers his lips and moves them from side to side- something he only does when he's thinking very hard about something.

     Something is wrong with Sirius.

A/N*

PLEASE DON'T HATE ME. I know it has been forever since I updated, but when school got going it got going. I'M SORRY Y'ALL I REALLY AM!!!

I'll try and do better. I love you all. I really do. My next story may just be a little postponed, but I promise to finish Limerence soon. I PROMISE 

OKAY LOVE YALL VOTE AND ALL THAT JAZZ BYE