I Love Him (A Ryden Fanfic) [FINISHED]

LOML

~Ryan's POV~

Brendon has to give someone a tour at school, so I have to walk.

Which I genuinely don't mind.

At 7:50, I begin my walk to school.

I step through the double doors at 7:55 and head straight for my locker. As I get closer, my heart starts beating faster, because no one besides Brendon would leave a note.

Unless it has "faggot" written on it.

I see the green sticky note just has a big black arrow drawn on it either with sharpie or a thin-tipped black Expo marker.

The arrow was pointing to the left, so I looked to the locker on the left of mine. Another note. This time, a pink Post-It.

On the Post-It was a memory.

MEMORY #1: WHEN WE WALKED INTO EACH OTHER IN THE HALLWAY

I kind of laughed for two reasons: 1.) of course Brendon wrote in all caps and 2.) I remember the time we walked into each other in the hallway. I still remember how I suddenly became warm and full of excitement when I looked up to see Brendon's face. Must've been the same thing for him.

There's another arrow on the bottom of the Post-It. I keep following the arrows until the Post-Its get off of the lockers and start making a trail on the floor toward one of the classrooms. I stay hunched over so I can read the notes and pick them up as I go along, until I'm staring down at two black converse.

I stand up more slowly than I had meant to. And then I take a step back to read the sign Brendon's holding.

It says "...and many more if you go to prom with me" B has this big dorky smile and the whole thing is so romantic that I feel like I could cry.

I can't say anything because I'm too happy, so I just kiss him. Brendon's grown a lil bit in the past few months, so now he's one or two inches taller than me.

Which I like. He's sort of the dominant one, which I don't mind. I kind of like it, actually. I'm too shy to take his place.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"So you didn't really have to give anyone a tour, did you, Beebo?" I ask as we walk out to the parking lot, arms linked.

I'm not mad. I'm just asking.

Brendon stops walking and takes my hands. He starts talking really fast.

"Ryaimsosorryiliedihatelyingtoyouijustwantedthispromposaltobespecial!"

His words are a blur and I can't really hear. I start playing games with our hands.

"Bren, it's okay. I'm not mad." I giggle. "I'm so, so happy, actually. Now, let's not go home. Let's go somewhere."

Brendon and I link arms again and we walk to his car. "Where should we go?" He asks as we walk.

I think for a second. "Hmmm... we could take a walk in the park?" I suggest sheepishly. Brendon nods.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

We're staring at a koi pond in the park. There's a big all orange koi fish playing with a sort of whitish-pink one.

The whitish-pink one has long whiskers that flow gracefully along with it as it moves. The orange one has shorter whiskers, and it doesn't move as gracefully. It's kind of... lost.

Lost in its own home.

I suppose the orange one is me, and the whitish-pink one is B. But he disagrees. He thinks I'm the whitish-pink one because I'm low key (not as an insult) and I know what I'm doing. He's the orange one because he's reckless.

"I don't think the orange one is reckless," I protest. "I think it's just lost."

Brendon shakes his head. "Look at how sharp the orange one's movements are. It kind of jerks whichever direction it's going."

"Yeah," I say. "Lost."

Brendon shakes his head and takes my hand. We keep walking and then sit on a bench on the grass under a willow tree.

I'm sitting on his lap, and suddenly I feel like I'm gonna cry. I clench my jaw, but some tears still escape from my eyes.

Of course, Brendon notices immediately.

"Babe, what's wrong?" He asks with a concerned look on his face.

"It's just-" oh god, I can barely breathe. "It's just I'm afraid that I'm gonna wake up. I'm gonna wake up and be in my bed and it's gonna be the morning I start school in Las Vegas. I never actually ran into you in the hallway, we never kissed in your room, we never went out on all those dates, you didn't ask me to prom, we never had sex.... and..." I can't finish. I'm crying too much.

"And what?" He asks, still concerned.

I swallow. "And I never met you."

Brendon takes my hands and kisses me. Hard. He puts our foreheads together, but now I can see he's crying, too. "We met, Ryan, okay? And I love you. And it wasn't a dream. We're going to spend the rest of our lives together, okay?" I nod, suddenly feeling better. "Just you and me-"

I cut him off. "And cheese whiz."

We're both laughing now. "And cheese whiz." Brendon agrees.

We sit on the bench in silence, my head resting on his chest, until the sun is setting. We get in his car and drive back home.

We go into our separate rooms, but we don't go to sleep. We text.

Ryan: u rlly know how to make me feel better :-)
Brendon: it's nothing, babe
Ryan: I love u 💕
Brendon: I love u more
Ryan: not possible. Sry babe.
Brendon: then I've achieved the impossible.
Ryan: no u rlly haven't. U can't achieve the impossible, bc then it would be possible.
Brendon: ew ur such a dork
Ryan: go to sleep, loser
Brendon: I love u, jerk
Ryan: I love u too, fuckboi
Brendon: hey!
Ryan: sry sry sry 😂
Ryan: gn. Love u, babe 😘
Brendon: Love u 2 😘😘
Brendon: beat u
Ryan: LOML 😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘😘...
Ryan: ha the message was too long so it didn't send all of it 😈😂
Brendon: DAMMIT
Brendon: but srsly fight me- I love u more
Ryan: yeah come at me I'm literally one door away
Brendon: coming
Brendon: wait do u have cheese whiz? I see orange dust on the floor outside ur room
Ryan: maaaaaaaaybe
Brendon: TRUCE I WANT CHEESE WHIZ
Brendon gets on top of me to give me a goodnight kiss, and on the way out, steals some cheese whiz. I watch his ass as he walks out of my room and closes the door. God, he's so sexy.

I turn toward the wall that's dividing my room from Brendon's. There's no doubt in my mind that he's turned toward that wall on his side of it.

For a second, it's quiet enough to hear him breathing.

And for that second, the wall has fallen away.