Control Freak ✔️

21 confessions pt. 1

In Caleb's dreams, he returned to an evergreen forest, so dense and dark that the light couldn't shine through the canopy. It was so dark, in fact, that the green became black; an infinite field of nothingness.

He had no concept of time in this dream, which for all he knew, could have occurred in an instant, or could still be occurring, and he could no longer prove to himself whether he was awake or asleep in this unsettling, all-consuming blur in which he found himself being pulled into the world with all the things in it until he melted away with the colors and there was nothing left but black, and then, not even black, as his ability to perceive anything at all melted away along with his entire sense of being. The concept ceased to have meaning.

All there was left inside was what was primal: the fear. Those desperate black dots shrinking away, disappearing inside of his bloody skull. The skin was bloated and contused. The color had drained away, the lips curled over, gray and traced with ridged faults of dead skin. His heart began to pound, and yet he was still compelled as if by fate, as if an invisible tide was pushing him out to be carried to his grave. He felt himself losing his grip in his shoes, and the corpse's gaze latched onto him. Now, it would not let him go. He pinched his eyes shut, and reached his hand forward, until finally, his fingertips met a switch. In a flash, the basement was illuminated. When he could finally open his eyes, it was as if he was experiencing the first light that ever was. It filled him like a rush of fresh air in new lungs, as he found himself spilling from the rigid womb of a corpse. When all the colors took form again, he could make sense of what was in front of him. And there was nothing.

The basement was totally clean, as if there was never a dead body hidden there.

Caleb sat on the bed watching her as she tore through her drawers and went rummaging for an outfit. When she found a couple of promising items, she tried on each one and posed in her full-length mirror. As she shimmied out of each one of her club dresses, he couldn't help but stare at her wiggling butt as she hopped about. Ivy caught him looking in the reflection, so she spun around with a mischievous smirk on her face. She crept onto the bed and crawled between his knees. She looked up at Caleb and poked out her lips. He knew it was dangerous. He knew he didn't trust her. But the only thing that look compelled him to do was take her by the chin and kiss her.

"Ivy, we're gonna be late for the party," he weakly protested in-between kisses. Ivy relinquished a devious little simper as she pushed him back down on the sheets.

By the time they got out of bed and made it downtown, the sun had gone down, and the remaining orange had bled out and yielded to the dim light of the half moon. Caleb snuck a peek at Ivy as they walked together, holding hands. They passed people by, and he observed men ogling her slender frame wrapped in a black dress after offering a cordial nod or hello, and then pretending to go back to whatever they were doing so they could stare some more.

For some, it was more than a stare.The demeanor of most was easily discernible, for the apathy besmeared about their stringy, level lips exuded their collective melancholy, their overall boredom, and general disdain for everything in their immediate vicinity. But when their eyes met Ivy, they were pulled from underneath their passionless cover, and saw the world in vivid color, as if for the first time.

Caleb heard them whispering about her. In the mundane clamor of the busy street, the noise they made stirred him enough to hold her tighter, for fear she would simply slip away in the tide of male attention.

"Hey," someone finally said.

"Hey?" she parroted, making apparent in her voice a twinge of agitation.

There was a young man standing in front of them with a stupefied look plastered on his face that he couldn't quite erase in between his not-so-subtle gawking at Ivy.