hate to love you.

forty-one

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we woke up to the bright sun in our faces, and the tv on. well, i woke up after alyssa. she had just taken a shower.

"showers open. go take one." she said throwing a washcloth and towel my way.

i got up, and went into the shower. i felt the urge to find something sharp, but i and remember that i had a promise to demi and to dallas.

i quickly got out. her shower head was different and the water came out quite harshly, forcing my cuts to reopen.

"can you sit down?" she said awkwardly as i came out of the shower. she put her hand on my knee which made me shift in my seat.

"yeah, what's up?" i said.

"well, i don't know if you remember, but last night-" she began. i looked down and picked at my fingernails. "you kissed me." i finished.

"no, we kissed." she said. i gave her a confused look.

"i mean, we did. didn't we? i mean, you felt what i felt right?" she said.

"no, i'm sorry. i didn't feel anything. we were both drunk, and it was a mistake. and, plus. i'm not gay." i said.

just then, my phone rang.

demi called to tell me she was outside.

"i have to go," i said grabbing my things and walking out. "whatever." she said annoyed.

way to be an asshole, gabriela.

"hey, dems." i said smiling.

"how was it, baby girl?" she said.

"great." i said. she giggled. "so, i was thinking that we could go to the mall instead of going home." she said.

i laughed. "sure, demi."

we arrived at the mall and stepped foot in the doors. i gave demi, "three, two, one," and then,

"top shop!" she screamed.

i started laughing, but that came to an abrupt stop after she grabbed my hand pulled me towards the store,

"calm, demi. calm." she reminded herself and stopped. "sorry, i just remembered we're here for you and not for me." she said laughing.

"why are we here for me?" i asked.

"it's your birthday tomorrow, and we're going to take you out to dinner, so you're going to get a dress." she said.

i groaned. "demi, you know i can't wear dresses." she said.

"yeah you can wear dresses. you're beautiful with or without your scars. and, if nobody else appreciates them, they don't deserve you." she said.

she had a certain look in her eyes which made me believe her, and it actually made me smile.

"anyway, i figured you'd say that, so i had some long sleeved, floor length dresses designed for you. you can pick one out that you like." she smiled.

"don't you think that's a bit too 'dressy' for a dinner?" i asked. she said, "nope" making sure to pop the 'p'.

we reached the shop, and quickly found the reserved dresses demi designed for me.