S.R.S

Chapter 23

READ END NOTE. VERY IMPORTANT!

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MARCEL'S POV

"This is going to be a long day." Louis whispered to me after our alarm went off early on Sunday morning.

It's been a week since Danny had passed.

"Yeah." I nodded. "I know."

"It feels so real now... that she's gone."

"It didn't seem real before?"

"Before it was almost like she was on vacation. Now... the day of the funeral... it feels real."

"Oh." I nodded. "I understand."

"I can't believe she's gone." Louis said starting to cry for the thousandth time this week.

I scooted over to him and hugged Louis tight in my arms. I let him sob into my shoulders.

"It will be okay Lou. I promised we can work this out. We are strong."

"I don't know how you can say that right now Marcel."

"I don't know either to be completely honest with you."

Louis looked up at me and kissed my jaw only being able to reach there.

"I love you. Don't ever leave me."

"I won't." I spoke and then kissed his forehead. "Now come on. We have to set up for the funeral."

Louis nodded and then we both got up and headed to the kitchen.

Louis started getting out plates, utensils, and decorations.

"Set those on the counter. We have to clean up a bit first."

So, Louis did so.

I then grabbed the vacuum and Louis grabbed the duster.

We then started cleaning the kitchen, living room, and bathroom so we would look clean for the guests.

Afterwords, we then set up the dinning room table with a table cloth, plates, and utensils.

We then set up a small shrine in the living room of Danny consisting of pictures, her favorite stuffed bear that she has had since birth, and then Louis and I both placed a rose by one of her pictures.

"Come on honey, let's go get the kids."

Louis nodded going to get the boys and I stopped him.

"I'll get them. You go get Claire-Elizabeth."

"Alright." he nodded.

He then walked to her room and I walked to the boys room.

I closed the door once in there and sat down in a chair that was near both of their cribs.

"Hey boys." I spoke softly while they were still asleep. "I can't express how sorry I am. I can't imagine how it will feel to grow up without your mom..." pause... "She was a great mom." I spoke the last sentence in tears. "I don't know how I'm going to live up to her. I don't know how Louis and I will make this work. I'm sorry that you have to grow up with two gay dads now. I'm sorry that you're probably going to get made fun of. I'm sorry that you might hate me in the future for not being your actual mom. I'm just sorry for this whole shitty situation."

The boys started to wake up.

"I'm sorry Patrick and Phoenix for not being your mom. I could never take her spot, but just know, I'm going to try my very hardest to be a could papa. You know what... you don't even have to call me that if you don't want to. Call me Harry. Call me papa. Call me your dick step father. Whatever. Whatever makes you guys happy. I know I can never be Danny... I can't make up for her... and I'm so god damn sorry for it..." I said and started sobbing.

That's when they woke up.

I got up and started to rub their little bellies as the tears dripped down.

"Good morning sleepy heads..." I whispered. "It's time to wakey wakey."

Patrick and Phoenix smiled at me.

I then got Patrick up and got him dressed in a black suit. I then got Phoenix and dressed him in the same attire.

After that, I walked them to the living room and put them down in their play area. I then went down to Louis and I's room to get dressed in my suit.

As I was tucking in my shirt to my pants, Louis walked in.

"Claire-Elizabeth is so fucking hard to wake up." he spoke with an annoyed tone.

I didn't say anything. I knew he was just trying to wrap his head around everything. So I continued to get dressed.

After I was done, I just sat on the bed and watch Louis finish up with a frown on his face.

I frowned at the sight of him.

This is hard for everyone... but I know it's hardest for him and I feel so bad for it. I can't do anything to take that kind of hurt away for him.

"You ready to go?" Louis then spoke out.

"Yeah." I nodded.

We both then walked upstairs to grab the kids. After that, we got into the car and headed for the cemetery.

Once there, we sat in the front row and then the funeral began.

I couldn't help but cry... everyone was crying. Except for the babies. They didn't know what was going on and I couldn't bare the thought of when they would understand what happened.

I didn't want to speak. I didn't feel like I deserved it. I was terrible to Danny at first. Even though I made up for it by friendship... I don't think I could speak for her. Only people who fully loved her could talk about it. I feel wrong...

After the service everyone came over to our house to talk and eat.

I watched as Louis made his rounds to Danny's family and I stayed back with the kids.

"I will love you all for the rest of my life. No matter what happens with Louis and I." I spoke to the boys. "I love you."

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So, soon I'm going to be posting ANOTHER BOOK. It's not apart of M.P.D. It's a whole other story and I'm so excited to share it with you guys soon!

Please check it out when I post it!

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