The Dark's Light (Gotham Story)

Chapter 16

I cant sleep anymore. I wont sleep anymore. Ive told Harvey this too. Hes mad at me now, I wont tell him why. That demon in my brain, its always there.

Always hurting me.

Today I have devised a good day, just for me and Dj. He did just get here. And after some explaining, seeing me with a broken spine on his first day here isnt a good welcome.

I eyes narrowed in thought. That man who was in charge, and the man who ran me over were all workers of Joker.

"CAT!"

I flinched and looked up, Dj stared at me almost glaring. Ah, I had been thinking.

"Sorry, come this way." I said, my voice sweetly highpitched. I was faking. I didnt want him to know.

"So Cat, besides all that craziness with your spine broken, has Gotham been good to you?" 

"Yes." another lie.

I wanted to tell him, I truly did. But he wouldnt be able to handle it, at all. I wish I could just release the pressure on my shoulders, but I cant.

"Alright well where do you wanna go?" he questioned.

"Lets just walk around and go to places on the way. Ill tell you about places around." I smiled and he just nodded.

For most of the day we walked around my area. I had shown him many restraunts and parks. I hadnt told him anything about Arkham or my nonexistent love life. Needless to say he was slightly bothered I didnt talk as much.

He grabbed my arm, it was dark out now and the moon gave us light. He pulled me back and I just let him silently.

"What the fuck happened to you? When we were kids you used to smile. You used to laugh CONSTANTLY! Before you moved away, you were a sun. Now youre a moon. Why are you so silent and gloomy nowadays?" he questioned, almost desperately. I looked at him and tried to hide my emotions.

"Nothings wrong Dj, its just been a long time. People do change somewhat over time. Yes I was a happy little kid, doesnt mean I aint anymore. Im just quieter." I explained and my heart panged. I didnt want to lie to him. I really didnt. He was my best friend, and still is. But he wouldnt understand.

He just 'hmm'ed and my stomach dropped. I dont know why I expected his to try and push harder. To at least try and urge an answer. Nice to know.

I guess Im just too stubborn. My fault as always. He gave me an indescribable look in his eyes and I looked away. I know that look, and it scares me. I cant love anymore, if I love him itll ruin everything. Our friendship.

It hurts me to leave his heart hanging but its the only way. He will find someone better. Everyones better than me.

I sighed and pulled away. "Cmon, lets take you back. Im sure you wont question everything there, Id guess youve been filled in already." I didnt look at him and started to walk back to the base.

Tonight was too much. Too many feelings, too much mental hurt. I silently laughed, everything hurts nowadays.

I rolled my eyes. Why is everything about me? Im so damn selfish. I began to walk into the almost unnoticable trail into the woods. I took a glance behind me and saw Dj, he didnt say anything. I needed to make sure he was there.

We walked for Id guess almost an hour before we saw the silhouette of the main building. I almost drooled at the thought of my bed. Fuck my demons tonight, Im gonna sleep.

Hopefully.

I took another look behind me to see Dj, his head was hung. He walked away to Main, but I grabbed his arm.

I pulled him back and wrapped my arms around him tightly. I didnt let go, I just held him tightly, he wrapped his arms around me and held back just as tight.

I finally pulled away, murmured a goodnight, and walked to building 4, it had been made as my little home. It was a small shack almost, but I love it. I asked them to remake it, and they did.

I walked in and all my drowsiness went away. I growled in frustration and sat there for a moment.

A memory flashed from my childhood. I used to have insomnia, so I used a specific method to become tired.

I walked outside again, and climbed the tree near my home, I leapt off the branch into my roof and sat for a moment.

I opened my mouth, well here goes nothing.

"Here we go again

I kinda wanna be more than friends

So take it easy on me

Im afraid youre never satisfied

Here we go again

Were sick like animals we play pretend

Youre just a cannibal

And Im afraid I wont get out in life

No I wont sleep tonight,"

My voice echoed softly to the woods around me, low and sweet. A yawn interrupted me and I smiled fondly at the stars. I leapt off the roof and walked back into my home. In my room I thought about the stars. I wish I could be like them, free.

As my eyes closed only one thought flew through my head.

Free.