truth or dare // phan au

seventy-six

*quite some time later*
i'm graduating today.
can you believe it?
it's absolutely insane to me. after all i've been through, to think that I finally get to leave this terrible school, it's just so goddamn insane to me.
this is one of the best days of my life, i just wish phil lester was here to share it with me.
at least I have pj. he's been making it a lot easier to get through the hard times. and, trust me, there's been a fuck-ton of those. 
anyway, i'm in my car on my way to pj's house. i'm going to drive him there, and then we're probably getting a ride from one of his friends to some big graduation-after-party. that could be fun, i guess.
i feel odd. its not a bad odd, it's a good odd. i feel happy. i cant help myself, i feel my face break out into a big, goofy, stupid grin. i laugh. im laughing! oh my god! i feel fucking fantastic!
i conceal my giggly smiles as i pull up into peej's driveway.  I lean on the horn for a second to let him know i'm here. before i can even blink, he throws the door open and hops into the passenger seat.
"hey!" he says, and leans over to kiss me.
oh yeah. pj and i are dating now... so that's a thing.
after the whole drunk make out session, we became closer. much closer.
"you look very happy today," he says, with a weird, confused look.
"as do you," i kiss him once more before i start the car up again.
kissing pj is nice. he smells nice - kind of, i dont know, citrusy. like oranges, and lemons. he smells of happiness, and sunlight, and the summer, and the beach, and- 
it hits me. the beach, oh, god, blue oceans, blue skies, blue eyes. eyes like the ocean and sky have clashed together in some sort of beautiful combination only possible to see in the only person i have ever really loved. phil. oh, god.
he grabs my hand, ripping me from my thoughts and forcing me back into the present.
"dan? dan?" he looks worried. "are you okay?"
"yeah, yeah, sorry. i'm okay." i shake my head slowly, trying to convince not only him, but myself, that i'm anywhere near okay.
"uh, do you want me to drive?" he asks, obviously i'm not being very convincing.
i respond, "yes, please."
it takes a few minutes for me to be relatively calm again.  i'm still not completely calm, my heart feels like its going to explode out of my chest. i notice that i am gripping pj's hand way too tight, i release my grip slowly, and take a few deep breaths. i need to get over phil.
a/n: wooo updateeeeee ugh im tired