The White Exorcist (a Blue Exorcist fanfic)

Ch. 5: Numb

~SONG: DISAPPEAR (REMEMBER WHEN) BY ISSUES~

"What happened?" Yukio asked, sitting across from me at the table in the kitchen. I was in dry clothes; a grey sweatshirt and black skinny jeans. My still-damp hair tied up into a messy bun and my bangs clipped up, uncomfortably exposing my forehead.

"Lucifer happened." I said dully. Rin and Nay-Lee sat on either side of me. Rin watching me closely with his chin resting in his hand, propping his head up. Nay-Lee had her arm around me, trying to make an effort to comfort me when clearly she was the one who needed comforting. An older sibling thing I guess.

Yukio furrowed his brow but didnt question further. "Probably the same that happened with Dad." He said to Nay-Lee and Rin. They both nodded.

Yukio stared at me. "You're taking this awfully..."

"Awfully well? Thanks, I know." Despite what I said my expression and tone of voice remained apathetic.

"No... just awfully." Yukio said.

"Whatever." I murmured dismissively. I gentley shrugged Nay-Lee's arm off my shoulder and stood up and turned to leave. "If you need me I'll be wherever."

"Where is exactly is wherever?" Nay-Lee asked.

I shrugged. "Wherever." I said vaguely.

"You want me to make you something? It really wouldn't be a bother." Rin said to me.

I squeezed the fist that held the necklace that Asami gave me. I hadn't let go of it since it was set in my hand. I shook my head without turning around. "No, thanks. I'm not hungry." I said colorlessly and ambled out of the room.

I walked down to the music room and shut the door behind me and sat at the piano and set the necklace on top of it. I was about to take out my phone and listen to Unwavering Emotions, but this was the first time since I got the song that I felt obligated to play it. And I did. I automatically knew which keys I needed to start off with.

I kept playing it over and over without a pause in between. It sounded like an extended version, not just like it was on repeat.

I closed my eyes and let my hands take control. It was soothing and beautiful. My ears drank in the music, actually enjoying that they got to listen up close and not just through a recording.

I started to have flash backs of all the times I got into trouble and Asami was there to calm me down as a kid. I broke someone's nose when I was five and she never called me a monster like the others did. Asami deserved to live.

**RIN'S POV**
We watched silently as Air walked out of the kitchen.

"Apathetic." Yukio stated. "This isn't at all how I'd expect her to react."

"She so damned good at hiding what she's feeling." Nay-Lee said scornfully balling her fists. "I've known her all her life and even I can't tell anything about what she's thinking. Shes so open most of the time, when those times do occur when she wants to be closed off... its so... hard to tell..."

"I dont think she's acknowledging it like she should be." Yukio said.

"Wow," I said unbelievabley. "She tells me the importance of letting yourself know its okay to cry and yet here she is trying to act macho in front of everyone. Fucking contridicting much."

"I dont think she's trying to act macho," Nay-Lee said. "I do think she feels something. She probably just feels numb."

"Or lazy," Yukio said. "Too lazy to feel anything, especially pain."