in which a sad, bitter cubs fan annoys her wattpad followers even more.
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idk how his works but i don't own the show garbage time, i thought it'd be a nice title idea
i've been inspired by numerous people talking about places their from and whatever
so, im bringing to you,
The Beginner's Guide to Kansas: America's Least Favorite Shitshow™
now, lemme get started
1. We Literally Have Nothing to Do
Wichita, Lawrence, and I /guess/ Topeka. that's literally it.
(the fun part of kansas city isn't in kansas so that doesn't count, alright?)
we have all of these small ass towns and the places to eat in all of them are summed up as McDonalds, probably a local cafe, an old Pizza Hut, and a Sonic (if you're lucky)
from where i am, you have to drive 30 minutes to get to the closest mall, and it's in fucking missouri
all of the good places to eat? 30 minutes away in missouri
we have to drive two and a half hours to get to a major league stadium, one that isn't even in kansas, either
idk what im saying, anymore
but we literally have nothing to do. nothing. i have to go to a separate shitshow called either Missouri or Oklahoma to do anything
2. The Definition of Boring is Western Kansas
have y'all ever been through western Kansas?
i drove with my family to colorado a few years ago and ha
i actually wanted to be ran over by the truck we were in about twenty times
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here it is. i don't need to bring multiple pictures because there is nothing else
i was in that car .... for 12 fucking hours. and i spent a lot of those hours going through miles and miles of hell and flat ass land and wind turbines
(oh, sorry, *Western Kansas)
3. Raging Discrimination
a lot of people here are just a shit ton of raging racists, homophobics, sexists, people who think all muslims are terrorists, and they're really just flat out ignorant people that i don't want to be around
and um,
guess who they voted for
4. Sam Brownback is an Actual Dumbass
ah, yes, our beloved governor.
except literally the whole state fucking hates him
even the people who identify with his own party!
in fact, he's literally such a fucking joke, that 100 Kansas republican congressmen endorsed the Democratic candidate for governor in 2014.
now, let me make a list.
- wanted to block stem cell research out of fear that we could create a human/animal hybrid
- tried to nullify federal gun laws
(which, by the way, got the entire state sued)
- eliminated arts' funding in 2011
- tried throwing 20,000 unemployed people off of food stamps
- cut $45 million of public education's funding
now, look, everyone has their own opinions on politics, so whatever
but like
sam brownback? actual dumbass who shouldn't be in office.
5. Welcome to Hell!
the whole state is general is just a big shit show
in basically every small town in kansas, the people are shitty and know your business. think you're getting away with something? you're not, because your neighbor's cousin's best friend definitely knows about it, and it's going to get around.
all over the state is just a bunch of sad, rundown towns with two buildings and a shit ton of farm land in between
the highest point in kansas isn't even a mile high, btw
In Conclusion
kansas really fucking sucks
im definitely counting down the days until i graduate high school so i can start getting the hell out of my small town and start getting the hell out of kansas
but on the bright side,
at least we've got pretty sunsets
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