the journey of happiness- a Jacksgap fanfiction

Chapter 1.

MEREDITHS POV

"Babe, Meredith. Wake up, we have to go home." A deep voice was softly whispering next to me. The bright light shone through my window and I remembered where I was again.

At this shit house hospital. Finn was here to pick me up, my ex- boyfriend.
We were still friends I think.

"Goodmorning," I smiled.

He smiled genuinely back," You ready to go home?"

I nodded and after about an hour I was sitting on my bed next to my packed bag waitint until Finn was finishing some paperwork for me.

I was staring at my wrist that was now "decorated" with a beautiful bracelet. I was freaking nervous for everything, tomorrow was Rose's funeral and the day after that it's the last day of 2013. And I hadn't made any plans yet, I used to attend the best parties in Soho.

But now..

"You ready?" Finn woke me from my deep thoughts, I looked up and he was reaching out his hand for me to take.

I took it, and the whole ride home. He tried to make conversation, he really was being a good friend, but right now all I wanted was be alone.

We entered the house and he brought the bags upstairs. I looked around in my room, everything wasstill the same as how I left it the last time I was here.

I just stood there, looking around like a tourist.

Suddenly I felt a prescence very near me. He was standing close behind me. His chest pressing against my back and hot breath tickling my neck.

My breahting got heavier, not out of lust or something, but I was scared and uncomfortable. I know I shouldn't be, this boy means well.

I turned around and looked straight in his eyes. Telling him I still couldn't.

He nodded understanding.

His hands found their way to my lower back and mine gently pulled him closer by his neck. Finn started stroking my back, trying to calm me down.

"I'm so sorry Finn. I really am, but I need time. There's so much going on an-" he cut me off putting his finger on my lips.

"Shhh,"

I pulled away his hand.
"I mean it Finn. I really can't, my eyes teared up a little," not again.

He let go of me and sighed, "God damn it Meredith! What do I have to do to make you fall in love with me again?" He said desperately.

"Nothing, be you. Be the friend you were to me 4 months ago."

"I can't! I can't live in the past, there's happened too much!" He started to raise his voice.

"Then forget about that! I don't know, please don't do this right now!" I started to shout.

"Don't you get it?! I want you. I can't live without you Meredith! Please, don't do this!"

"No Finn! I need time, I love you but I don't know if I am in love with you! And I don't want to make decisions based on sex.."

My voice was almost a squeal when I finished the sentence.
"Give me a chance, let me make you fall in love with me again."

I looked at the ground biting my lip, overthinking this. Does he deserve this? Do I actually dserve him?

My deep thoughts got interrupted by his hand lifting up my chin and looking me straight in the eyes.

"Okay," I whispered

He smiled, "I won't let you down Mer, I promise. And I'm still your good friend Finn, just a little different." He hugged me, and I held my breathe. But after a while I loosened up and swing my arms around his waist too.

He indeeed still was my friend.

"You should go now, I have to rest and you have to look presentable for tomorrow."

"Don't you think I'm already dashing now?" He smiledand wiggled his eyebrows.

"Yea, well you know what I mean. Now leave," I said pushing him outside. He blew me a kiss and I giggled.

I decided to skype Cameron, for the next two hours. Cause yeah I didn't really have much to do.

"Cammiiee!"

"Don't call me that, you make ot sound like I'm a girlie girl." He told me off.

"Don't be such a wiener! Come tell me somethin' new!"

We talked for hours, and it was dark by now. I was checking my mails, spam, sales at Topshop, post-christmas hauls, and my agency had sent a mail for with the data for my first table read.

That reminded me, of Jack.

Right Jack, my soon -to-be husband. He's handsome and all but our past in the love department hasn't really been thàt pretty.

I could talk to him about it tomorrow.. At my best friend's funeral. Tears were brimming my eyes again.. And led me to crying myself to sleep.