Stopping Time

Chapter five

This is not how Evan thought he would be spending his fifth hour.

Tears ran down his face as he desperately tried to control his breathing. His hands kept shaking and his whole body was hurting because he hasn't moved in the last ten minutes.

He sat in the corner of the bathroom, the farthest one away from the door. He tried to wipe his face but his hands were slick with sweat and tears and snot. His nose was plugged up, making it even harder to breathe.

He just wanted this to end. He didn't want to die. No, he was scared that if he tried again it would fail again and this time, everyone would find out.

He just wanted to disappear for a while.

"Hansen?" Evan froze up, trying to cry more quieter. "What the hell are you doing here? What's wrong?"

His footsteps got closer and closer until Evan felt his presence right in front of him.

He took one glance at Connor and cried harder. He couldn't tell what emotion was on his face, if any at all. But he knew it was most likely a negative one, which made him feel worse.

Connor crouched down, tilting his head to the side. "Are you able to speak?" he asked. "I, I'm not sure what to do."

    Connor pulled out his phone and started typing. Evan noticed.

    Why is he on his phone? Is he telling people what's happening so that when this is over everyone will laugh at him? Is he filming it to put online and show everyone how much of a loser he is?

    "Ok," Connor said. "It says here to help the person steady their breathing. Breathe in for five seconds, breathe out for seven. In, out, in, out. In through the nose, out through the mouth."

Evan tried to sync his breathing with Connor's. He was hiccuping at this point, making the breathing more difficult than needed.

He eventually calmed down to where he wasn't crying. His hands were still shaking terribly. He put them on his legs but that didn't stop them, so he ended up putting his feet on top of them.

"W-why were you in here?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He didn't look at Connor, who was standing again.

"I decided to cut fifth hour and heard something in here," Connor explained. "Why were you in here?"

Evan swallowed. What if he thinks it's stupid? He's probably going to call him a freak if he says anything.

Evan shook his head, pulling his legs to his chest and burying his face into his arms. "I-it's stupid," he mumbled.

"It's obviously not stupid if you're crying." Connor sighed, shoving his hands into his pockets.

Evan took a deep breath. "In fifth hour," he started, "we were a-assigned a group f-for a presentation. I-I tried to get out of it b-but the this being the first project of the year, I-I wasn't able to." He closed his eyes. "S-so I started freaking out and excused myself and went here. T-then my Mom texted me saying that she was working late tonight and I just–that makes me feel like such a-a burden and t-that it's my fault for making her overwork and I just-"

A sob escaped his lips. He bit the inside of his cheek to keep tears from escaping.

"Sh-she says I'm not," he continued, "b-but I know how e-expensive food and bills and my medication are and I-I can't help but think that way."

Connor stood there, not knowing what to say.

Evan wiped his face, then wiped his hands on his jeans. "I'm, I'm sorry," he whispered. "I d-didn't mean to make you sit and li-listen to that. You probably don't care and you're probably not going to want to be my friend and that's fine because I'm used to it, I'm used to being alone."

Connor leaned down and grabbed Evan's good wrist, startling the poor boy. He pulled him up. "Look," he said. "I know we don't know each other well and I'm not the nicest person ever, hell our first meeting was me shoving you, but no one deserves to be alone."

Hypocrite, Connor thought. I deserve to be alone.

"Let's get out of this shitty bathroom," Connor said. "I'll buy you a water from a vending machine if we pass one."

Connor and Evan ended up ditching the rest of class. They somehow weren't caught by teachers or staff.

They sat between lockers, trying to make themselves as small as possible.

In the fifteen minutes they had before class was over, they learned a lot about each other.

Connor's favorite band was State Champs and favorite song by them was Critical. He says he relates to the lyrics.

Evan loves musicals and is a sucker for happy endings. He says that he doesn't like tear-jerkers sense he does enough crying on a daily basis.

Evan found himself slowly becoming more comfortable around Connor. He stopped messing with his shirt unless he says something embarrassing.

"S-so what do you think?" Evan asked. "Is the glass half full or half empty?"

"Half empty," Connor answered. "Why?"

Evan shrugged. "I-I read somewhere that if you think it's half empty, you focus on more negative things."

"Well that explains it," Connor muttered.

The two fell into silence. Did what Evan said offend Connor? Should he apologize?

"So-"

The bell rang, signaling the end of class. Kids began to flood the halls.

Connor stood up and stretched. "I was thinking of ditching the rest of the day," he suggested. "You up to it?"

Evan thought about it. He could go and learn more about Connor, but he could get in trouble. Or he could stay, not get in trouble but disappoint Connor.

He shook his head. "I-I'd rather not," he said. "S-sorry, I just don't want to get in trouble."

Connor nodded. "Suit yourself." He walked over to his locker, getting his backpack. "See you later Hansen."