Chapter Sixteen

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I hate myself.
I'm such a stupid girl.
A foolish, crazy girl.
Only an idiot would actually do this.

It's 7:09, I ended up walking slower than I normally would on my way over. There's so much on my mind and I was honestly having a very long mental conversation with myself on whether or not I should come. Yet of course, here I am. Standing outside the forest, in the dark, all alone. (Despite myself being the late one)

I found it easy to leave the house though, seeing as my parents still haven't returned. Honestly, it's scaring me that they left me alone here with the recent events, with absolutely no explanation as to where they were going or why they weren't going to contact me. The least they could do is call the landline and make sure everything's fine...right?

I tug down the sleeves of my hoodie as a chilling breeze glides past me from within the forest, shivering from the contact against the cold.

"You're late." I hear a masculine voice whisper in my ear, causing me to jump in fright at the sudden air blowing past my head.
"As are you," I point out, taking deep breathes to calm myself down and slow my rapidly beating heart. Something in me calmed me quicker than I normally would, giving me an almost secure feeling despite my current company.
"Touché," Jackson smirks, the air around me feeling just a bit warmer than it was before.
"So why'd you ask me over here?" I ask, gesturing to the continuously darkening shadows of the forest behind us, "it's a bit late for you to tease me, isn't it?" Jackson merely shrugs his shoulders, facing the forest. I face the forest, a couple feet to his right so as to give myself space, but also be curious.

Jackson sighs, suddenly sitting down on the dirt just on the edge of the forest, as if content by the nighttime noises from various creatures. After a moment of internally debating with myself, I sit down next to him. A bit closer this time.
We simply sit there, for who knows how long since I manage to lose myself in thought as I stare into the hypnotizing depths of the trees.

"What happened?" Jackson's voice pulls me out of my wandering mind, making me turn my head to look at him with questioning eyes.
"What do you mean?"
"I mean, what happened after I left, back in freshman year?" He says, referring to the horrors I've been trying to suppress in my mind. I'm not sure I'll ever forgive him for the words he said, or the pain he caused.
"What do you think happened?" I snap, turning my head away from him. I bring my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around the top and placing my chin on the tops of my hands.
"I've got a vague idea, but there's no way it carried on an entire three years." I hear the pity in his voice. That's not what I want. That's not what anyone wants. I don't need pity, I've had enough of it over the years.

I don't reply to his previous comment, knowing that he doesn't deserve the story and he most certainly isn't worth the tears that might follow if I even attempt to explain what happened.

I feel Jackson get closer to me, our arms brushing together, giving me a bit more warmth in the cool September air. The night bores on as I have a mental battle with myself on whether I should give in to the mate pull, or continue to do what's right in my mind.
My heart or my mind. The real battle.

"I want to get lost," I say, staring deep into the dark abyss of the forest in front of me. There's a long pause of silence next to me, I can almost feel Jackson thinking about what I've just said.
"Let's get lost together." I smile softly to myself at the thought.
"Can you even get lost with your...werewolfness?" I ask, slightly leaning against him as the slightly breeze from the trees tickles my nose, beckoning me into its mysterious contents.
"I can certainly try."

That's all I need.

Maybe for tonight, just for tonight, I can let my heart make a decision. Just one.
Even if it can get me hurt in the long run.

Jackson gets up beside me, moving to stand in front of me, and offers a hand. Without even thinking, I place my hand in his and allow him to pull me up from the ground. The touch of our skin against each other makes me feel something I haven't felt since before I lost myself a little over four years ago.
Happiness.

What am I doing.
I'm not safe.
Not with him.
I can't.
Not this time.

I shake my head, turning off any insecurities in my brain for the night, letting myself go.

Oh, what nightmares could await me.

~*~

I sit up quickly, instantly regretting it due to the sharp pain that follows in my head. The first thing that hits me after the pain, is the cold. The undeniable Autumn cold that intensifies in a place such as a forest.

Why am I still in the forest?
What happened?

I don't remember much from the night before. I remember walking with Jackson into the forest, allowing myself to open up my emotions with no regrets; but barely a hundred yards into the forest, I realized I was alone. I remember panic, but I had forced myself to continue. It wasn't exactly stupid, seeing as I was already lost as soon as Jackson left my side.
Although I probably shouldn't tried to keep track on my direction, but any sense of logic left as soon as I temporarily let go of my mind.

Stupid
Stupid
Stupid

After that, besides wandering around the forest for an hour, losing myself in the maze of trees, I don't remember what happened next. That's where it goes black.

I slowly rise from the ground, brushing off my jeans before looking around. The forest seems less mysterious now that there's daylight, but it seems that I'm so far into the forest, that there still isn't much light at all. I can see as far as where I need to, but no exit can be found.

"Jackson?" I say aloud, grabbing my head with my hand as my raspy voice causes my temple to pulse in pain. I take a step forward after waiting a moment without reply, when I notice yet another pain. This one, in my ankle. I look down in confusion, not seeing much without my glasses, but still noticing it looking bigger than it should be, with probably blood. Or dirt, I can't tell with this dizzying headache.

I may have a concussion.
I could possibly be bleeding out.
I'm most likely lost.
I'm skipping yet another day of school.
...Looks like I got my priorities straight.

I try to walk again, but I can't. The cold had numbed the pain in my ankle when I was passed out, but now that I'm awake and my body temperature is increasing, the pain isn't starting to become evident. Very evident.
I clench my teeth as sharp spikes of pain stab through my ankle and through my leg.

"Jackson?" I call out again, this time with a reply. Although, it's not the reply I had in mind.
A low growl vibrates from behind me, I turn to face a large dog. A wolf.

Is it a werewolf?
It's got to be.
Is it Jackson?

"Jackson?" I croak questionably, my eyes darting to the bloody wounds on its side. It's limping, like I am. Although I don't think that'll save me if this isn't Jackson.
It growls again, limping towards me. I can't move, my working leg won't allow it, my injured leg hurting too much to move.

I hear another growl, this one louder than the wolf in front of me. A large pepper gray wolf appearing from behind a tree, stalking towards the injured wolf in front of me. I'm not sure who these two are, part of me is hoping that one of them is Jackson.
The new wolf snaps at the injured wolf, causing it to whimper, lowering its head in submission before limping away.

Now I'm all alone with a large probably werewolf and I have no idea who it is.

Shit.

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Song above is Ground Control by All Time Low feat. Tegan and Sara.
It's from the new All Time Low album and it's my favorite so far. I'm literally obsessed with the new album, if you haven't heard it, YOU NEED TO!!!

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