The next few weeks pass by uneventfully. My family stopped by to visit a couple of times, Luke even met them. Mom still doesn't want me to go back home until the cops have enough evidence to get Alex in jail for at least a couple years.
Luke and I have been getting closer. I feel like I know everything about him. I know his past relationships, a girl in middle school and some boy when he was in high school when he was trying to figure out his sexuality. I know his embarrassing stories. I know his hopes, dreams, and fears.
I love getting to know him, I could watch him all day. His finger move smoothly when he signs. He speaks the words too, so I see his lips moves slowly.
He is so beautiful and it's killing me. I want to hold him and kiss him. I don't know how he feels about me, and if I were to tell him and it turns out that he doesn't like me back it would be awkward. We are rooming together, and it would be hard to ignore him if I see him all the time.
Tonight, instead of going to the party down the street, we decided to stay in. Luke was cuddling against me playing with my curls. He signs to me gently, "you know that one time you told me that you self harmed when you were younger?"
I nod against him, he continues to move his hands, "I did that once too. I'm not even sure why, I think I was looking for attention. I was not very liked."
I nod again, he continues, "I stopped after doing it a couple times, Micheal told me how stupid I was being. But I guess when I did it they were bad, I'm surprised I didn't bleed out."
"Can I see them?" I sign to him, "your scars I mean?"
Luke smiles a little, "is this an excuse for you to see me without pants?"
I smirk and jokingly move my hands towards Luke's pants. Luke raises his eyebrows and watches me as I undo his pants button but he moves my hand away so he can unzip his pants and take them off.
He lifts his boxers a little so I can see eight large scars; four on each thigh. My eyes widen and I run my finger alone each scar. Luke was right, they were deep; mine were only scratches compared to his. I wanted to feel pain, he wanted to die.
I look at him in confusion and I sign, "this wasn't just for attention, Luke, you wanted to kill yourself."
He looks at me with a small smile, "people would have noticed me if I were dead."
I sigh and I hug Luke after signing, "I'm glad you're better."
I feel Luke nod against my shoulder and I pull back to see Luke staring at my lips.
"Can I kiss you?" Luke signs. But before I could give him an answer his head goes down in embarrassment.
I roll my eyes and pull his chin up. I nod and he brings his face closer tom mine, our lips touch but it's awkward. I can tell Luke doesn't do this often. So I press my lips harder against his and start moving them.
Soon enough Luke pulls back with a blush and a pant.
"That was nice." Luke signs with a giggle, he leans his head against my chest and sighs contently.
"Luke," I sign to him, "will you go on a date with me?"
Luke nods against my chest.
