"I think your pizza is gonna get a little damp." Like signs to me, a look of concern crosses his face and he takes the pizza away from me.
"Do you want to talk about it?" He signs, then his eyes widen, "well not talk, but you know."
I sob and open my mothers text and hand him my phone. Luke take my phone and reads through the text, his eyebrows squint together.
"Whose A-L-E-X?" Luke signs, "what did he do to you?"
"My ex-boyfriend," I sign, "he uh, abused me? I guess. I mean he pressured me into have sex with him and pressured me to do some drugs. I didn't think about it as abuse until I told Jeff, he was my old friend, and he was pissed off saying it was abuse and he threatened to go to the cops."
"Is that what those scars are from?" Luke signs.
I laugh stiffly, "no, these are self-harm scars."
Luke look shocked and pauses for a seconded, then he signs, "I'm sorry."
I shrug, signaling that I don't really care that he brought it up.
"Why?" Luke signs, "why did you do that?"
"I was so out of place." I sign to him, "I mean I was like twelve and I heard about this girl that slit her wrist because she felt different so I was like hey I'm different. So I cut my arms a couple times but I didn't want my mom to see it. So then I cut my hips and my stomach and I did that until I was like 15. Then I stopped and moved on to doing drugs and shit."
"You are screwed up," Luke signs, "were screwed up. You are better now, right?"
I nod, "I think I'm just gonna go to bed."
Luke sighs, "do you want some cuddles? Micheal says that I'm good at cuddling."
I nod pathetically and plop in my bed, Luke turns off all the lights and climbs in next to me. I press myself against him and after a couple of minutes I fall asleep.
