I follow Luke into a coffee shop, where there are two boys sitting in a corner waving at Luke.
Luke grabs my hand and beckons me towards them. I stop for a second and sign to him, "I'm not very good at meeting new people."
Luke nods solemnly, signing back, "it's okay, they are really nice. They know some asl too, if you are scared about that."
I shrug and he continues to lead me to the table, I have been deaf for 18 years so I have learned to read lips, it's not accurate but I try.
One of them looks at Luke and asks something along the lines of "who him?"
Luke, being the nice person he is, signs and speaks at the same time, "this is Ashton. He is my roommate, he's deaf."
I used to hate it when the first thing someone would say about me was "he's deaf" or "he can't hear" but over the years I got used to it. It's something important and odd, and people need to know so they don't think I'm ignoring them.
The boys nod in understanding. I wave and they wave back. Then they turn to Luke and ask him something.
"They want to know where your from," Luke signs to me, "Calum thinks you look familiar."
The Asian looking boy, Calum, is looking at me with curiosity. And now that I am getting a closer look at him I notice that he does, in fact, look familiar.
"Cabin," I sign to Luke, "my gran has a cabin that I go to every summer by Lake Michigan. I think I've seen him there."
Luke tells Calum what I signed and Calum nodded in agreement, saying something like "oh yeah."
Luke, Calum, and Micheal continue to talk. I tried to keep up but I get lost, because Luke stopped signing. I sigh, and take out my phone, deciding to text my sister from back home. She always has the latest gossip.
Sadly that's not always a good thing.
{text convo, italics is his sister and underline is ashton}
ash: just checking up, how is everything?
baby sis: good. Mom is a little depressed because you're gone. School is boring without you.
ash: ofc it's boring. I'm the life of the party.
baby sis: yeah yeah, but guess what I found out today.
ash: what?
baby sis: you won't like it...
ash: just tell me.
baby sis: Alex has a new boy toy.
I sigh and roll my eyes, turning off my phone, not replying back to her. She knows not to bring him up, I'm not sure why she did now.
Alex always knows how to bring down my mood, even when he isn't around.
I feel a poke on my arm and Luke is looking at me signing, "you okay?"
I nod and smile stiffly, Luke nods, not knowing me enough to push it.
Everyone ordered their food, I decided not to order anything because, after hearing about Alex, I wasn't hungry.
I watched the three boys communicate, picking up bits and pieces of the conversation. Soon, I get a headache from trying to process what everyone is saying, and I begin to get out of my seat. I was ready to go back and nap.
I look at looks hands, which are signing the question, "where are you going?"
I shrug, signing back, "to the dorm. Headache."
He offers to walk me back but I reject him, I just wanted to walk back. I didn't feel like communicating with anyone or even looking at anyone.
He looks at me with concern as I walk out of the coffee shop. I take a deep breath, I hate people. There were people in that shop, there are people on the street, people everywhere. I walk back to the dorm quickly, trying to control my breathing. I wish I didn't overreact to situations. I overreacted to Alex's new boy, I overreacted to meeting new people, and I overreacted to all the people on the busy street. I hate it. I hate overreacting.
When I get into the dorm I plop on the bed, cuddling into the blanket.
I hope I sleep tonight.
