Half A Heart // ziam

chapter twelve

[ this chapter carries on from chapter 10 as chapter 11 was a flashback. sorry for the late update. x ]

*Zayn's POV*

"Why weren't you there?" Perrie and I sat on the edge of the bed, the distance between us like never before. It was like a barrier had been placed between the two of us, forcing us apart and for some reason, I didn't mind the distance. If anything, I wanted to embrace it. 

"Why wasn't I where?" I asked, frowning. The expression on her face was hard to read; I couldn't decide whether she was more frustrated or worried. I racked my brain to yesterday and tried to remember what exactly I had missed but nothing seemed to ring a bell. 

"Our date" She replied, coldly. 

Oh shit. That's right, we had date, well a double date with one of Perrie's friends and I had missed it. How did I even mange to forget about it?

"Oh fuck, shit. I am sorry Per, I don't know how I forget. Shit, really, It completely just slipped out of my mind. Sorry" I ran a frustrated hand through my hair, closing the distance between us steadily; my hands slipped up to her cheeks and I made her face me. 

She wasn't angry. I knew that. But she was worried, curious. She wanted to know why I forget, what made me forget.

"It's Liam, isn't it?" She whispered slowly before she managed to push her hands off me gently.

Of coruse Perrie knew about Liam and I; Liam was that part of my life that I couldn't hide from anyone, not matter who that person was. Perrie and I had spend countless amounts of nights, talking about Liam and I,  trying to have me get over Liam and maybe that's why Perrie was the one I ended up proposing to; she understood me. 

"No, of course not. I told you I am over him" A lie. I was never fully over Liam; he had that one piece of me, forever. 

"Zayn, babe, please" Perrie stood up, a frustrated sigh slipping past her lips and I can imagine just how much pain I am causing her. I may not be in love with her but that doesn't mean that she isn't. 

"I am sorry about yesterday. It just slipped out of my mind, trust me. It doesn't mean anything" I tried again. I had to make her believe me. I am already hurting Liam, I can't have myself hurting Perrie too.

"You sure?" She asked. She was trying to look out for me, not for herself. She wanted to make sure that she wasn't dragging me along with her in this relationship. Maybe she was but I couldn't get myself to tell her that right now. It wasn't fair on her. 

"I am sure, Per. I love you" At those words, a solid lumped formed in my throat and I knew I had forved those words out. I didn't mean them and I never would unless it was Liam I was saying those words to.

"I love you too" She replied before she leaned over to press a firm kiss at the corner of my lips. "Shall we head downstairs?" 

"Yeah, sure" My hand joined with her; absolutely hating how soft and girly her hand felt in mine, I wished for Liam's long fingers and his firm grip instead. I pushed that thought back into the corner of my head, I had to, as I led Perrie downstairs as she talked about everything I had missed yesterday at the double date. 

"Jade's boyfriend is delicious. He's quite shy but he's great looking and I never seen Jade look so happy before" Perrie put in. 

"Yeah? that's good but should I be worried...about getting replaced?" I joked. We reached the ground floor but paused outside the kitchen door, Perrie's hand flush against my chest. She giggled and then shook her head. 

"No one compares to you, Zee" She stated, pressing a quick kiss to my lips. Just at that moment the door flew open and Liam stepped outside, his laugh terribly adorable and he proceeded to pull Niall out along with him. I managed to pull my lips away from Perrie before he could see yet Perrie still stayed close to me, hand still firm on my chest. 

Liam's eyes finally fixed on the two of us and the laughter I had lost myself into finally stopped; the smile on his face vanished, getting replaced by a small frown that I could tell Liam was trying to hide. Fuck. 

There was desire inside of me- wanting. I wanted to reach over and tell Liam that it was him I wanted. But I couldn't. 

"Hey guys" Niall chirped in smoothly, breathing the tensed silence. I silently thanked him as he dragged off Liam with him. I was't sure if I could watch that pain filled expression take over Liam's face. 

I couldn't hurt him anymore than I already have, it would kill me. 

I had to do something; I had to get him back. I needed him back; back against my mouth and back into my arms. To do that, firstly I had to get out of this relationship with Perrie. 

[ so I have a feeling it was horrible...sorry. It was just a filler I know. I just hope it wasn't that bad. Also, sorry for any errors or typos. ]

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