(So this is gonna be pretty bad. My brother isn't a writer at all and this is more stupid then anything I've probably ever seen. And he doesn't know I'm posting this because he doesn't know this account exists.)
Anyway...
I (technically my brother lmao) give(s) you "The Dr. Phil Story"
Foreword
Today, Dr. Phil expresses his views on things in one big book. From wacky patients, to people with problems, Dr. Phil tells us ALL ABOUT IT in a comedic manner. Enjoy!
Chapter 1
Dr. Phil's POV
"10 minute warning," the stage supervisor says. I am in the green room getting ready for my next airing of "The Dr. Phil Show." As I fix my tie, tying it and putting on my suit jacket, the stage supervisor then gives the 8 minute warning. Since it's a long walk, I start walking out there, about to see the gleaming, burning lights of the stage that reflect off my bald head. The 2 minute warning is called, and the theme starts playing. I don't want to miss the attention, so I start running super-fast, and I arrive and deliver my monologue.
Chapter 2
Dr. Phil's POV
The first person is a little person who is cheating on his wife. He goes on and on about how he didn't cheat. His wife then marches out, and says the exact same thing the little person didn't. I tell him, "If you did it, you did it. No one can fix you and your pea-sized brain." I tell him to get off my stage, and he leaves, without first breaking my brand new 75-inch TV screen that I use for my show. And then he goes and eats all my breath mints. Those breath mints cost 75 cents apiece! Oh well, it's over and done with.
Chapter 3
Dr. Phil's POV
My next guests are moochers who beg off their parents and have been begging since they were 18. The parents go on about how they should be removed from the premises, and all is going well, until the boys come out. They accused the parents of not giving them anything, and I was just beside myself. They said that they needed money for cigarettes, and then I made my ruling. I told them that they didn't need money, and that they were to move out in 30 days. The boys yelled, and they smashed my previously busted screen. That screen cost me $800! I'm sad now; because that's $800 I'll never see again!
Chapter 4
Dr. Phil's POV
My third sets of guests are an out of control teenager who can't go one day without going to the spa. Her mother spends $900 a day for her teen at the spa. Her mother is fairly peaceful, and tells me what happened. I'm about to feel sympathy for her, but then the kid comes out and starts screaming and shit like she's on Maury. She yells saying that she is worth everything. I tell her that the world does not revolve around her, and she takes my tie. She also smashes my TV screen! And she eats my better breath mints. Those were $1.50 apiece!
Chapter 5
Dr. Phil's POV
I then go to commercial break, and I go wipe the sweat off my very bald, gleaming head. I then go into my green room, curl up into fetal position, and start crying. I LOST $5000 DOLLARS TODAY! MY MONEY! The stage supervisor tells me breaks up, and I walk out.
So that was interesting.
Told you my brother wasn't a writer. The chapters are literally one paragraph long but that's not even the issue. What is this shit?
Also I'm just gonna mention, there were some kind of offensive words in here that I had to get rid of. Whoops
6-3-17
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