Soft Pillows | ✓

Chapter 16

Her mood declined.

For a moment, she couldn't help but think if those moments were a dream. Because if it was, it was a beautiful dream. He hadn't smiled at all, but that hadn't bothered her much. He was always around her, talking to her, cooking for her, staring at her, sitting beside her, and that all made her heart warm.

He had been really nice every minute they were together. And she hadn't been able to stop herself from looking at him, noticing the small things about him. How he would scratch the back of his neck and look down at his feet when he was shy, how he would tap his fingers on his thigh or desk when he was nervous, how he would breathe heavily when she was near him, how he would look at her with those intense eyes, how he would ball his hands into fists and clench his jaw when he was angry.

Damn, she was definitely falling for him.

Heaving a sigh, she walked into her room, hopped into a warm shower, and after changing into her pajamas, she fell into bed but she couldn't sleep, not when a certain someone was invading her mind.

Atharva.

She felt more worried about him.

Tossing and turning, she gazed at the ceiling as her fingers absentmindedly fiddled with the mangalsutra around her neck.

It was just an ordinary gold chain but very precious to her. An auspicious thread symbolizing their marriage. The only thing that was given to her by Atharva as a token of love. But there was no love for crying out loud.

She thought he was finally opening up to her but no, he shut himself again. There were no feelings from his side. Nada.

It had been more than a month to their marriage and her feelings for him seemed to be escalating pretty quickly, making her anxious. She didn't know what she'd do if he never reciprocated the same, probably breakdown and cry her eyes out.

Should I tell him how I feel?

Her eyes widened in horror and she clamped a shaky hand over her mouth, her breathing becoming ragged when she imagined the consequences.

No no... I can't tell him.

She shook her head frantically and closed her eyes, feeling a pang in her chest as if someone had pulled the strings to her heart too tightly and broken them. She didn't want to admit it because she was really happy for her best friend but she did envy him a little, okay a lot actually. He got to experience love, be with the one he wanted for his life.

And here she was, consumed with conflicting thoughts.

Muttering curses, she got out of the bed and marched to Atharva's room. She didn't care if he was sleeping. She was going to knock until he opened the damn door and demand him answers to her questions.

She needed reassurance.

If he told her to wait, she would happily wait for him for eternity without any complaint but if he didn't want to do anything with her, she would have no other choice but to divorce him despite how she felt for him.

Because sometimes one-sided love was not enough for both. Sometimes you needed to let go of the one you love to let him find love.

Taking a deep breath, she knocked.

Once.

Twice.

Thrice.

Repeatedly, until she felt her knuckles turn pale and tingle in pain. Still, she didn't stop. She kept knocking, banging, pushing, kicking but no sound was heard from the other side of the door.

She was desperate now and as time passed, she felt rage bubbling within her.

Of course, he didn't sleep like the dead. He knew she was outside but he didn't buzz from his bed.

She slid down on the floor and leaned on his door for support as her body quivered and hot tears of pain streamed down her cheeks.

Her sobs, hiccups, and screams with every breath she took suffocated her and she felt an unknown ache unfurl in the pit of her stomach and consume her until she felt nothing but numb.

She was raised in a family where everyone loved and cherished her. She got everything and anything she wanted. But for the first time, it wasn't like that. She did get Atharva but not really.

After what seemed like hours of silence, she fell into a restless slumber, cold and sad with one thought running in her mind.

I have to file for a divorce.

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