Not So Normal

Chapter 52

   As soon as lunch hour is over I practically sprint to my room. I'm too emotional right now to deal with people. Brandon tried to comfort me, but it didn't work at all. Knowing that I'm the reason he's stuck in rehab is awful. If it weren't for me, he would be off living his life like a normal person. Neither of us would be here if I hadn't jumped off that building that day.

   I desperately need to talk to Niall. I've only been able to talk to him twice since I told him I was in rehab. I beg Melissa every day to let me talk to Niall, but she usually says no. Maybe when I tell her about what happened with Brandon she'll let me call Niall. I swear if she doesn't let me I will throw a temper tantrum. She can't just keep me separated from Niall like this; it isn't ethical to keep people in love apart.

   I spend the hour and a half in between lunch and my therapy session sitting in my window seat and crying on and off. I'm kind of glad they don't let girls wear makeup here because mine would be super smeared and gross from my tears. I hate crying, yet I seem to do a lot of it.

   As soon as I walk into Melissa's office for therapy I demand to call Niall. My eyes are red from crying, and my voice cracks, so I think that's why she hands me her phone and lets me call Niall. He picks up and says hello on the first ring. When I hear his voice I just break down. Tears stream down my cheeks and I can barely say hello.

   "What's wrong, princess?" Niall asks worriedly. I try to tell him about Brandon, but nothing but sobs escape my lips. After a minute of this, Melissa gently takes the phone from me.

   "I'll talk to her and then I'll have her call you back," Melissa says. "Uh huh... I don't know... Not that I know of... Okay, goodbye."

   "What did he say?" I choke out between sobs.

   "What's wrong, Elissa? What happened?" Melissa asks, ignoring my quesion.

   "I found" sob  "out" sob  "Brandon" sob.

   "Brandon what?" Melissa asks.

   "Saved me," I whisper. I try to stop crying, but my body is shaking and the tears won't stop flowing. Melissa gets up and walks out of the room, leaving me crying on the couch. What the hell? I'm not motivated enough to get up, so I just keep crying for a few minutes while she's gone.

   "We're having a guest at today's session," Melissa says when she comes back. I look up, and Brandon is standing at her side. He looks worried when he sees me crying. Melissa has him sit on the other end of the couch and then she sits down in her big chair. She looks between me and Brandon for a minute before speaking.

   "Brandon, what does Elissa mean when she says that you saved her?" Melissa asks. A look of confusion flickers across Brandon's face, but it doesn't last long.

   "Well, you know what led to my alcoholism and depression, correct?" he says to Melissa. She nods and gestures for him to continue.

   "Well today in our group session we talked about traumatic experiences, so I told the story of how I witnessed a girl try and commit suicide. Afterwards, at lunch, Elissa informed me that she was the girl that I had saved," Brandon explains. Melissa looks at me for confirmation, and I nod, not really able to respond because I'm still crying.

   "Why has this made you cry?" Melissa asks me.

   "I don't know. I guess maybe because I never really realized how my decisions could so drastically affect other people. That, and just bringing back all the memories surrounding that incident is just painful," I say. Melissa nods understandingly and types something on her laptop.

   "Brandon, how has this new information affected you?" she asks after a minute. Brandon bites his lip and doesn't answer for a few seconds.

   "It's kind of shocking that I saved someone that's famous. I guess I just feel more sympathy for Elissa now that I can connect with her a little bit. I never thought that I would find out who that girl was, and now that I know who it is I've found a bit of solace. I feel like it's a weight lifted off my shoulders," he says carefully.